The Deep Blue

9. Christmas Eve

All I wanted for Christmas that year was not anything materialistic like Father would give to me each year. I wanted something that I lacked for so many years and that was feeling loved. All I wanted was to at least belong or be with someone who loved me unconditionally. Not just simply throw money at me hoping that it would make me leave. I wanted to feel like I at least belong somewhere to someone but it was never the case for me. Stunned from my own family because of something that was out of my control, the only person who truly loved me was now deceased.

As time would prove that I was just only the black sheep of the family, never knowing the joys of opening gifts with my little sister . Forced to undergo punishment by being erased and treated like I never existed. My heart continued to fall victim to the darkness and suffer a fate worse than death itself for many years until now.

As the snowflakes fell from the sky hit the sand outside of my window, Christmas eve has finally arrived to the island. Bring with it snow that does not come around all that time. Overtime it reached up to the window and front door outside. A blizzard that everyone hoped would pass us but instead it came and brought its fury behind it as well. The busy streets become quiet with most of the people all instead of their homes. Stores closed due to the excessive snow fell on the ground.

Eventually even the city's electricity went off as it left many homes without power. As I looked from outside and saw first the first time in a few years the North Star shining bright in the sky. When my Grandma was alive many years back she would sit me up on her lap and tell me stories of a man who flew in the sky with the help of the North Star he gave gifts to little children at midnight. I always found it to be creepy and a bit unsettling of the idea, but when she died on this day a year ago my heart sank. That night I looked out the hospital window by her death bed and wished that I would not be alone anymore.

Now things have changed since her death and at that moment in time I don't really feel alone. I could not see it then but I was with a merman who cared for me. Under the fireplace in the den after my room pretty much became a freezer after the portable battery powered heater went out. Me along with Takeshi and Riku took refuge in the den by under the fireplace after it got too cold to bare. With a couple of blankets over the three of us, and Riku fast asleep. Takeshi looked up at the fire as he extended his hand.

"Have you not learned what fire does to you when you touch it already" I scolded him a bit as he looked at me with the puppy dog eyes.

"Nagi don't worry I will be just fine" He tried to reassure me that it would be ok.

"You could burn your hand or worse get scars from the burn" I said to him looking at the burn mark on my hand that was given to me by mom.

"Nagi I'm not stupid enough to touch fire its just fascinating to see it that's all" Takeshi said as he laid his head on my chest.

I felt my heart pound as I knew he felt it as well. I did not know what to really say to him as he continued to talk about his home. A place that I would never know but yet have negative memories of.

"Ocean does not have flames like this unless you go around the volcanoes and those who tried are no longer living" Takeshi explained as he looked over at me with as I looked away from me.

"I know I just dont want to see you hurt." I said to him as he patted my shoulder.

At that point I got myself up from the floor as I headed to the decorated Christmas tree. I looked at the many seashells that acted as ornaments as I looked down to the many gifts that were already wrapped. As I skimmed through the many gifts with either his or Riku's name I found that one gift. Wrapped with male neko character I seen from an anime before on my phone. I grabbed the box while Takeshi looked at me with a surprised that look on his face.

A gift that was made specifically for him I knew that he would adore it. Since it was the least I could do for him for saving me from drowning. At that moment after I had had handed it to him shook the box out of curiosity. I felt a little warm inside because it felt like me as a child with Grandma.

"Nagi what am I suppose to do with it?" Takeshi asked as I grabbed his left hand as his nail almost cut into my skin.

"Takeshi your suppose to take the wrapping paper off just like this" I demonstrated to him as I ripped a portion off.

"Fancy Fancy Nagi."

"Now you try" I said as I gave it back to him. "You can do it Takeshi"

He then ripped all of the wrapping paper off piece by piece as I waited for it. The months I spent with Takeshi made me learn a couple things about him that proved to be useful. As he finished unwrapping it I took the box away from him and out came out a gold ring, his face lit up in excitement.

"Nagi is this really for me?" He asked as I put the ring on his finger.

"It's something that I want you to remember me by when you leave to go back to your home" I said to him with a smile on my face as tears fell from my face.

"How could I ever forget someone like you Nagi?" Takeshi asked me with a concerned look on his face.

At that moment he wrapped his arms around me tight as I closed my eyes and did the same. "Merry early Christmas Takeshi"

As I reflected on that year I could say that I had it worse with almost committing suicide from depression. I was ashamed to let any of my friends know my weakness. I thought that it would worry them or I would even worse push them away. I felt trapped in a birds cage with mom and dad hovering over me as I looked at the others who soared the skies. I hated myself for not being able to be that perfect son. I hated my birth mom for not having the courage to save me from my captivity. I had several unanswered questions about her that Father would never tell me. No matter how many times I went in the ocean I could never wash away the black soot that would one day take my soul to the other side.

Without Takeshi I wouldn't have lived to tell the tale, and I am glad that he showed up. I'm just afraid that at any day now he will just leave and go back home. Returning into the ocean where his family awaits for his return. I just hope that if he does leave me one day never forget the memories that we shared together.

As when then laid down together under the covers I slowly drifted off to sleep as Takeshi began to snore. I smiled at him as I closed my eyes it felt like I was a kid with his teddy bear again. I just wished that it would never end.

See you at the next Wave...