For five minutes I tried to go after her outside of the cold blizzard with only just socks and a thermal on as my body temperature began to decrease. I wanted to find her and apologize for being angry with her for many years, for sending her a letter as a kid wishing that she would just vanish from existence. I wanted to make things right and change the future, to stop worrying and live a simple happy life.
No where to be found outside I tried to walk down street and see if she went to the Ritz Motel not too far from my place. Maybe if I did that I could tell her face to face that I was sorry, and spend Christmas morning together. Once Christmas was over maybe I could try to convince her to stay with me until the very end.
As I felt my heart slow down I continued to walk down the road, this time I would make it all right. She would love Takeshi once she got to know him, and laugh at Riku's corny jokes. She would love those two especially when I show her my moves with the surf board.
She would never want to leave....
Then I felt a hand grab the top of my shoulder as I turned around to find Riku as he stood by me. "Whatever it is Nagisa its not worth it" Riku said.
"I...I could make it all better she would ever love you once I introduce you to her" I told him with my eye slightly twitching as everything became hot.
"Wait who are you talking about?"
"We can finally be a..a family me and mommy" I repeated to him three times as I placed both my arms over my head and kneeled to the ground.
My mind flashed back to a time where my step mother ripped all of the picture of my mom and told me never to address her as mom. To even top things off she would berate me each day whispering into my ear that she would never love me because I came out wrong, and that she simply dumped me off to live with Father. As a child my step mother played with my mind to make me hate her, to hate the woman who had given birth to me.
"Nagisa snap out of it dammit!" Riku shouted while he shook me rough. "Nagisa!"
"I want to apologize to Mom for everything dammit!"
"You cannot go any further like this!"
"Then call for a driver then!"
"There is too much snow and ice for anyone to drive out here late at night"
"Then we will find a way to get to her!" I shouted as I turned mt back toward him and proceeded to walk down that direction.
"What the hell is going on with you dude first you walked outside without saying a thing and now your trying to get yourself killed out here, what the hell are you trying to accomplish?!"
"Unlike you I have a Mother who is still alive and I have to see her just one last time!" I shouted out loud as it echoed down the neighborhood.
Riku then went up to me as he grabbed my shoulder as I turned around facing him; he slapped me across the face hard. As I rubbed my cheek and looked into his eyes I realized that I made him angry.
"Im sorry" I said to him as he grabbed my hand.
"Now is not the right time for you to risk your life to see your mom, hell I wish that I had the chance that you by making things right but now is not the time" Riku said as he took off his jacket and gave it to me. "Right now me and Takeshi need you right now, so please don't leave us"
I went into his arms as the tears fell from my eyes as the uttered out a couple of words at him. I knew that at that point there was no changing the future between me and mom. She was gone from my life forever and would never return again.
"I think that we should be going now" Riku said as he wrapped the coat around me he looked back for a minute before we walked back home.
At that point I was pretty much close to dying from hypothermia and would have died if it was not for Riku. The things that I think are right always turned out to be wrong and that's what makes me continued to think of myself less than a failure.
As we walked all the way inside he handed the box that was on the door as I looked at the blue and white wrapping paper. I did not know what to think of it at the moment as I knew that it had to be something important from her.
YOU ARE READING
The Deep Blue
FantasyNagisa is a troubled boy with a terrible past who meets a merman one day and now has to live with him and adjust to a few changes in his life.