Royals'

One.

'Tis better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all. -Alfred Lord Tennyson.

He was wrong.

***

At age fourteen, I already had my life planned out. I would: finish high school, get a cute boyfriend -to kiss all day, go off to college, become famous, get married and have cute little babies, then live a happy little life until it was time to return to my home in the sky. Unfortunately life had other plans for me. Seven of those things on my list would come true however.

It all started with an innocent smile. There he was sitting casually on my best friend's sofa. Legs outstretched, gazing lazily about the room. I knew his name to be Sherwin, and that we both shared the friendship of Tokyo -my best friend, but that was all. When I initially walked into her living room, I payed no mind to the forever hushed boy, with the gorgeous eyes. I couldn't help the heat that rushed to my cheeks and the sweat that coated my palms when we locked eyes. Could it be love at first sight? Or was it my insecurities invading it's way into my nervous system? It wasn't like this was the first time that I laid eyes on him. He had a habit of lingering around Tokyo's house.

"How you doing today Yaz?" Tokyo inquired sweetly, as she ran her fingers through Sherwin's soft curls. They had a habit of being a little too comfortable with one another, while in the presence of others. I could feel another sensation replacing the one of discomfort. Jealousy. I would absolutely be lying if I uttered that I didn't envy Tokyo. She was everything that I was not. Short, thick, outspoken, thick, fashionable, thick, brave, thick, thick, and thick. At my impressionable age, I figured that if I had a fuller body, rather than my very thin one, boys would like me like they did her. Maybe I would have the courage to dance with them at parties. Maybe I would be more popular in school. Maybe I wouldn't cry myself to sleep every time another guy rejected me at school, because of how I looked. Maybe, maybe, maybe.

"So far so good." I smiled, glancing quickly over at Sherwin, then redirecting my eyes before he could catch me looking. There was something intriguing about him, that I couldn't exactly put my finger on just yet.

"Mmm...that's great honey-bunny. I want to change my outfit for the house party that Sherwin and I are going to later, so you two chat, I will be right back!" She said in her normal bubbly tone. Great. Leave me here with him and my nerves. Immediately after her departure the elephant took her place; suffocating me silently.

"What you lookin' at?" He asked, speaking to me for the first time, after he realized that my gaze was fixed upon the carefully sculpted jaw structure that God crafted. Nervously, I folded my thin arms across my A-cup chest, and shrunk into the seat.

"Nothing..." I mumbled.

"You sure 'bout that? Why do you always do that?" He asked, clenching his jaw.

" You're limited to one question only." I replied back smartly, with all of the sass I could muster in my body. Eyebrow raised, a small smile danced across his lips, then vanished instantly.

"Whateva nigga. Quit starin' at me all of the damn time. Just speak, I don't bite." Sherwin suggested with dilating eyes. Oh my word, why was he looking at me like that? Before I could come up with another wise response, Tokyo descended the stairs.

Lust clouded Sherwin's eyes as he undressed her mentally; so I assumed. I only thought so, because of revealing outfit of choice. The red dress she sported barely covered her natural behind, and her full breasts were on full display. There it was again, slithering it's way into my veins. Envy. If only I wasn't a late bloomer. It wasn't fair that we were both the same age and she looked as if she was eighteen. I longed to look mature as well. Cringing when I looked down at my pink shirt with hearts all over it, and glittery pants; I sighed.

"You sure you don't want to go with us Yas?" She asked, while she plopped herself down on Sherwin's lap.

"Positive." I smiled. There was no way I would go to that party with her. There was going to be drinking and grinding there. Two things that I was NOT comfortable with. Plus the big kids were scary.

"Come on Tok. we have to leave now." Sherwin whispered into her ear, causing her to giggle.

"Hush now. We have time." She replied, playfully swatting his arm. Turning my head, I rolled my eyes at their PDA.

"Tok..." He whispered, gently pushing her off of his lap to stand up.

"Okay,okay. Come on Yas. Let's all walk out together. I gotta get my copy of the keys, be right back!" She yelled, dashing into the kitchen.

This time it was me who felt a hole being carved into the side of my face, by a penetrating stare.

"What you lookin' at?" I asked, mocking his earlier question. Pausing for a second, he looked away then back at me, finally replying back with,

"Beauty."