Royals'

Seventeen.

"There are times that I hate you, but don't complain, because i'm afraid that you'll leave."                                                                                                                                                                           - Beyoncé

Three month had passed since the night that Mason raped me at the roller rink.My nights have been filled with horribly dreams of the incident. Who could I tell? We were "Mrs. and Mr.Royals', the perfect couple." What the blogs would do if that information was a lot worse than speaking up, no one would believe me anyway, so I swept it under the rug. At this current moment I sat at my vanity brushing my hair while the birds outside were heard chirping loudly about. Mason had flown in some more foreign ones last week as a gift. They've been more like a burden, however;he's been catering to me and making expensive efforts to show how sorry he is for what he did to me. He blamed it on the drugs and alcohol that he had in his system. Blamed it partially on me as well for not giving it up as often as he would like. Oh Mason.

"Yassie." I heard a familiar voice cooing from outside my bedroom door. I thought it was my best friend Erica, but I quickly remembered that we had a stupid falling out over here birthday last month. I got so wrapped up in work and juggling my personal life, I forgot her big day. I tried to buy her nice things to make up for it, but my efforts were in vain. Our friendship went down hill a lot faster than it had started it seemed. There are nights where I wish I could call her and straighten things out, at least try, I can not tell if it was my pride or just something telling me that it was just time that we went our separate ways; time doing it's cruel job, that stopped me from reaching out.

"Yes?" I asked, setting my brush down.

"How are you cutie?" RayRay, November's daughter asked. Laughing, I shook my head at her, she was always trying to flirt with me.

"I am just fine Ms.Rhain, who did you come in here with?"

"My momma, she's outside by your pool." She replied walking in my room, eyes wandering. 

"No,no little lady. I know you have sticky fingers, out." Getting up from my vanity, I walked towards her and gently pushed her outside of the room.

"Really? You don't trust me?" She gasped, mimicking her mother's famous fake appalled facial expression. 

"Nope." I replied, popping the P. Giving her a smile friendly hug to ease the sting, we made small talk as we headed towards her mother.

***

I pushed open the the two large glass doors that lead to my backyard and smiled to myself as I walked Sherwin and November clown one another.

"Boo." Sherwin yelled.

"Tea." I replied.

"Sugar free." He retorted.

"You smell like pee." I said pinching my nose.

"You two are so childish." November said crossing her arms across her chest.

"I know yo petty rumpus, not talking!" Sherwin yelled, flicking her on the forehead. Squaring up, November took her stance to prepare to tussle with him.

"Yeah ma! Lay them hands on 'em!" RayRay said hyping her mother up.

"Guys, stop." I said laughing. 

"Nah, let her come fuh me, so I can give her something." Sherwin replied holding up his fists. Giving him an unamused look, he chuckled then ran and jumped into the pool. I watched him make a few laps then motioned for November to follow me to the chairs under the shade.

Sherwin has been keeping to himself a lot more since his little fight with Mason back at the office. We are still on very good terms, but I can sense that there is something off about him. His eyes have pain in them.

"Yasmine? Are you listening?" November asked, digging in her ear then flicking the dead skin.

"I'm sorry, why did you say that you were here again?" I asked giving her my attention.

"I said Ma- Rhain, why don't you go chill with Sherwin lil bihh, grown folks are talking right now." November ordered her daughter as she made her way to us. Nodding her head, she turned on her heels then headed towards Sherwin. Even though she has her boyish ways in her, we all know that she has a little crush on him.

"Go on." I said when she was out of ear shot.

"I picked up your test results." She replied, pulling a piece of paper out of her purse. Oh man, I really was not prepared for this moment.

Two weeks ago November and I were at my womanly check up when my doctor noticed something was off about my girl down below, my discharge being an odd color; so I allowed her to run a few tests on me. When I got home I did some internet research to try and pre-diagnosis myself with something. I did notice the odd spotting, but deemed it as a reaction to stress,or worse, pregnancy. I got a phone call from my doctor yesterday, but told them to put the news in writing, I wanted to see my fate and process it. 

"Ok. Hand it over." I said opening reaching for the letter.

"You sure you don't want me to read them?"

"Yes, I want to read it myself. " Nodding her head, she pulled handed me the clearly torn opened envelop. Scrunching up my face, I pulled the the re-folded piece of paper out.

"November did you already read it!" I asked, even though I already knew the answer. It was not surprising that she would open my mail.

"My bad bihh..I got curious."  Sighing, I scanned the paper. No matter how fast my eyes moved across the paper, the word chlamydia did not go unnoticed for a slight fragment of a second. My mind went completely blank. That HAD to be a mistake, a typo made by a newbie. I knew in my heart that it was not, no matter how much I tried to convince myself otherwise.

I knew that Mason was not faithful to me in the past, but I thought all that had stopped considering that he's been so passionate about us fixing our marriage. Why was this happening to me? Things like this does not happen to people like me. I abide by the rules, I have kept my legs closed for the most part. For the most part -there was my heated moment with Sherwin - but that was nearly a year ago. My doctor would have caught this STD months ago if I had contracted it from him. Mason was the culprit, I know it in my core. Why? Just why? I asked myself over and over again. Was I not good enough that he had to step out on me with some nasty girl and bring back what she carried with him? Tears burned and blurred my eyesight. I would not wish this feeling on my worst enemy. If he had that what else could he have as well? The paper advised that I came in to get tested for HIV as well. My life would be turned all the way upside down if the man that I still loved so much had infected me with such a thing. 

Images of sitting in a cold hallway waiting on my HIV test results flashed through my mind. The feeling of fear, uncertainty, regret, and self blame was vivid. Why? Just why?

"Oh Yasmine!" November said coming around to hug me. "It's just chlamydia, it will go away."

"It's not JUST chlamydia, November! Who wants to hear that they have an STD? Even if it's a small one, my health was jeopardized by a man who could not even wrap it up when he stepped out on me."

 This is exactly what I deserve. My karma for cheating on Mason even though I was only chasing someone who truly made me happy. I guess that still does not make it right. This however was still not the storm, simply the thunder and lightening cracks.