Victoria's Rants

nostalgia

it is three in the morning and I'm having so much nostalgia to where I'm legitimately on the verge of tears oh my god where have the years gone

so I've decided to ignore my feelings and listen to one direction's old albums and literally all these memories came back to me to when I first started liking them in 2012 and when I was just a ten year old who had harry styles as her man crush monday every monday if that's a thing still idk

fun fact liam was my first favorite lols oh my god I remember how I was so in love with his hair and eyes when I first saw the what makes you beautiful video and I was like yep my goals are to be mrs. payne when I'm older mhm

aND HOW I GOT SO FREAKING JEALOUS WHEN HARRY SANG TO THE GIRL IN THE WMYB VIDEO AND I WAS LIKE NO HONEY BACK AWAYYYYY FROM HIM

AND WHEN THEY WERE MY BACKGROUND ON MY IPOD LIKE EIGHT HUNDRED TIMES AND I WOULD TELL MY MOM ABOUT IT OML

update it's four in the morning now ahaha how wonderful

I listened to gotta be you which was my first favorite song of theirs and this when was I actually hit rock bottom and cried a little because I remember it so clearly of me just jumping around in my room with my monster high headphones and dancing to it and singing it at the top of my lungs like the child I was and how I was like yES HARRY YOU SING THAT HIGH NOTE

and then same mistakes came on and that was when I felt a pang in my heart because that song was such a fave of mine for the longest time ((but not as long as gotta be you)) and I remember blasting it on my stereo as I did my homework lmao omg so many fourth grade memories of me just telling everyone how much I love them

I remember when they don't know about us was my religion for like three days before it was like loved you first

I just remembered thAT I USED TO READ FANFICTION ABOUT THEM ON YOUTUBE LMAOOO AND I REMEMBER READING IT NONSTOP AND I THOUGHT THE WRITING WAS LIKE SHAKESPEARE BUT LOOKING BACK NOW IT WAS LIKE TRASH SRSLY

I STILL REMEMBER WHAT MY FAVORITE STORY WAS AT THE TIME IM SO GONNA LOOK IT UP LATER AND JUST REREAD IT BC WHY NOT

nobody compares was also a big fave on mine like I was so so so so so in love with it when I first heard it on youtube with my little ipod (I still have it but it doesn't really work anymore cri) and I rEMEMBER JUST LIKE DANCING IN MY ROOM SO HARD AND LIKE SCREAMING AT HOW PERFECT THEY ARE AND JUST LIKE HAVING THE TIME OF MY LIFE

I would have these weird imaginations of them too like I would imagine myself marrying one of them or sitting with them at award shows and think about it before I went to sleep lol what was I

I remember that I looked up more songs like more than this which like ruined me and tell me a lie and summer love and stole my heart and save you tonight and my sister telling me that one lyric where it's like I can't be superman but I can be your superhuman doesn't make sense and I like wanted to punch her in the face when she said that

btw she became a fan shortly after and was a huGE harry girl but then she stopped liking them smh

I would just sit in my room just taking quizzes of which boy would be my perfect boyfriend and how I usually got louis and thinking that I would be an amazing wife oh

I would spend so many hours just watching funny one direction moments and music videos and reading pretty crappy fanfics that I thought was art at the time and it was a great marathon yep

and I go on my dad's laptop and print out one direction pictures to use as posters for my dolls and I madE A 1D SHIRT FOR THEM OANDJDJCEKKCMC

I would go on pandora and listen to the one direction radio as I dressed up my dolls too anD WHEN I HAD SUCH AN OBSESSION WITH MY SCOOTER SO I WOULD LITERALLY RIDE MY SCOOTER UP AND DOWN THE SIDEWALK FROM MY HOUSE TO MY BACK GARAGE FOR HOURS JUST LISTENING TO STORY OF MY LIFE OR UP ALL NIGHT ON REPEAT WHEN I ACTUALLY WENT OUTSIDE

and every time I went to target or something I would binge on getting 1d posters and I have like fifteen in storage and six are still on my wall and my favorite one sits above my computer so I can see it all the time lol I kinda wanna put them all back up now and just look at their fetus faces omg @ harry when he had his short curly hair that killed everyone on the planet

my friend gave me her midnight memories album in fifth grade and I remember like thanking her so many times and I would just listen to it as I played sims or picked out my outfit for the next day and my brother would be so annoyed of it

my friends also got me a poster that year too and when my best friend and I had a sleepover we were going through her magazines and she seriously gave me all of the one direction mini posters and the big harry one ha which is still on my wall

aND THAT ONE TIME I FREAKING STOLE A MINI POSTER FROM THE GROCERY STORE I CANT EVEN WITH MYSELF

I remember when my dad got me this is us on dvd after me constantly saying how I wanted to watch it and I literally spent the rest of the night just watching it and just having the time of my life lmao it's currently on my top shelf waiting to be watched again

one day my grandpa and my mom and I went to goodwill and we literally found a louis doll that sings and I was like mOM I NEED THIS so she let me buy it and now I have no idea where it is lel @ louis where did you go

and when I did gymnastics they would play live while we're young and what makes you beautiful and my inner fangirl would come out and I would just be ten times better at the vault or on bars like it was my energy drink omgggg I'm crying I thought I was such a boss

I would buy shirts with them on it and I would it to wear with no shame and it was great but like none of them fit me anymore except like two of them which I use for pajamas wow

and when I found out my dad got me one direction tickets I was like screaming and dying and losing ability to breathe and I swear for like three seconds I forgot how to even breathe and my head was so dizzy and I was hugging my dad so tightly and I was so pumped for wwa and I was like on the floor with tears everywhere and I made a countdown on my phone to the concert lmao

and one year for christmas aLL OF MY PRESENTS WERE WRAPPED IN ONE DIRECTION WRAPPING PAPER OML IT WAS GREAT

I remember when four was released and I was like dead by the time I was finished listening to the album for the first time and when the night changes video came out and I was so in love with it and 18 was my everything oh my

and when zayn left I legit listened to midnight memories while I was sobbing in my bed that night and I recall being so heartbroken and already missing him it was a very depressing few nights

and now here I am writing a 1d fanfic myself man time flies it is five in the morning

basically I'm a 1d fan who's had a wild three years in the fandom just loving them to death

I'm sad now because if I could fly is on ugh why do u do this to me