Chapter 23|Our baby...

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I wake up with a jolt. The collar that chafes my neck sends shivers throughout my body each time I move. The tubes sending fluids into me are causing me to feel lightheaded.

I look around and see Peeta sleeping with his head at the foot of my bed. He starts to stir, and slowly rises up to be greeted by my eyes. His grow wide.

"Katniss! I didn't know if you were going to wake up or not! I love you. I love you so much," he says, crying and hugging me.

I'm still confused as to what went on.

But then I remember. I remember the image of Prim trying to kill me.

I should've saw it coming. Because everyone saw how she was on television about a month ago. She said I was a mutt, that she wanted to kill me...

I remember her choking me with an unbelievable amount of strength. And her punching and kicking me in the stomach.

And I remember the baby. The little innocent baby growing inside my stomach, so small that a single touch could destroy it. My baby, that I couldn't protect. Our baby.

"P-Peeta, what happened? Why did Prim try to kill me? How long w-was I out? What about our b-baby?"

He sighs, tears threatening to come pouring from his eyes once more. "Prim was brainwashed in the Capitol. They used tracker jacker venom on her, and made her think that you were dangerous. It's fear conditioning. You've been out for three days. Your h-heart stopped, and they had to revive you. The baby, it's... It's.."

"Gone," I finish for him, letting the tears slip out of my eyes. "The baby is gone."

Peeta holds me as I sob. "I was right. I couldn't protect it. It died because of me. Because every time someone gets close to me, they get hurt. Because I am a grenade."

"No, Katniss. It's not your fault. Or Prim's. It's the Capitol's. It's Snow's. And that is why we have to kill him."

"He made us lose our baby."
He hugs me as I cling onto him for dear life. It makes me feel safe, and I never want to let go.

That's when somebody comes in. Somebody that I haven't seen in a long time.

"Plutarch?" I ask. I never knew he was still alive.
"Hello Katniss. I'm guessing you've been wondering where I was. You see, many people came here to four, where they thought it was safe, but some refused and stayed in thirteen. Coin needed me to stay. I've been getting news about you, and as soon as I heard about your sister attacking you, I came here. I just didn't listen to what Coin had to say, which is probably a mistake. But I was coming to check on you." He says. I'm still surprised he's alive and here.

"What exactly did they do to her? Peeta knows that they used tracker jacker venom on her to make me seem life-threatening, but what is their process called? How exactly did they do it?" I ask.

"We aren't exactly sure. The Capitol is very secretive about these things. But we know some stuff. They call it hijacking. They took old memories of you and reversed them to make you seem like a mutt. To make you seem dangerous.
Prim here, she was hijacked."

"Can you reverse it?"

"We don't know. They've been doing this to her for over a month. It would be very hard. But we brought back Beetee, and he's giving it a try. She's not been too aggressive with strangers or people she remembers from home. But we tried mentioning you and Peeta, and she lost it. We had to sedate her."

"Oh." Is all I say. I recall back in the Capitol, how I ran away from Tirgriss' shop, leaving them in harms way. And how I came back to see that they were gone.

Plutarch leaves, seeing that I'm upset. But Peeta stays. After a long silence, I asks, "Peeta? How did you resist the hijacking?"

He pauses, terrified at the memory. "I pretended like it was working on me. I had to scream everyday about how much I hated you. They didn't know I was acting. But I heard them talking about it before they tried."

I nod and look up at the ceiling.
Why can't I love someone peacefully? Why does everyone I love get hurt?

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