PG [Angst]
Taemin just wants Aimee to hold him.
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Taemin sniffles and uses his blanket to wipe his eyes. He curls up into a ball on his bed, leaning against the headboard. He realizes that he used the word "he" instead of "their" and he grimaces.
One year. One year since Aimee died and he still hasn't let her go. Taemin still wakes up in the middle of the night, reaching out for Aimee, only to realize that she's not there. That she won't hold him and never will again.
Tears leak out of Taemin's eyes. He was the one driving that car. It's his fault that Aimee is dead. It was his fault for getting distracted and making the car veer off of the road and down a hill.
Sometimes, Taemin can't take the sadness anymore. Sometimes, he holds the bottle of Aimee's sleeping pills in his hand, wanting to down them all and join her and tell her how sorry he is. Those are the moments that Taemin likes best, because just as he opens the lid, he hears her voice telling him that she loves him and to put the pills down, and he feels her arms around him and he can smell her perfume again. But whenever he tries telling this to someone, they look at him like he's crazy and say that it's just his imagination, that Aimee is gone. Taemin is convinced that she's still there, though. He likes the idea.
That's what makes him feel better. Just knowing that she's there to comfort him if he feels depressed. Even if it's not real, he likes to pretend that she is, and if he pretends enough, he convinces himself that she's still there.
Taemin buries his face in Aimee's pillow, desperately trying to smell her again. She always smells like vanilla because her body wash and her lotion, or sometimes she smells like spring because her perfume hadn't worn off yet.
Taemin wants to cry when he can't smell her scent anymore. It only serves to break his heart even more. He gets up and goes into the bathroom, searching for her perfume because that's his favorite scent.
Luckily, it's sitting there right on the counter. Aimee was always too lazy to put her things away, anyway. Taemin sprays a little bit on his wrist and inhales it. He closes his eyes so that he can imagine that Aimee's right beside him, holding him again and playing with his hair.
