I'm a goth

Monster Mistakes

I awoke to the morning rays in Michaels arms. He slept soundly. He was as beautiful as the prince of darkness himself. I couldn't help but to watch him breathe in , and out.
Waking up to this is probably the best thing I enjoy in our shared darkness. Moments like these I wish would never end. Maybe, because how agonizingly slow they are. Maybe, because the anticipation to see his eyes open, look at me, and take me in, my monstrosity of a body is just enough to stop my beating heart. Maybe it's both.
Both of these are pleasurable. Though I can't help, but want more. To hold him close. To show him how I feel every time I see his ghostly pale face.
I know it's selfish. I know it's selfish to want more. He already comforts me, a monster. So it'd be rude of me to ask for more. I know that, but there's something I want to experience with him.
I look at his lips now. Those chapped lips that speak gloriously dark words to me. Then I look to his eyes, and see they're still closed.
I figure it's now, or never. I just hope he won't reject me. I scoot closer to him, and as if on instinct his arms tightened more around me. This I will admit put a smile on my face, and a feeling in my heart I'll never forget.
I looked at his lips once more, and leaned in. His lips though chapped were very kissable. His tasted of cigarettes, and coffee.
Once agin I felt his arms tightened around me, and he began to kiss back. Shocked I opened my eyes to see his stare directly back into mine. We both pulled back a bit dazed. He rubbed his bottom lip, and looked away.
I sighed. I really shouldn't have done that. I knew he'd hate it. I was a monster, I know. He may have said he'd love me, but that can only mean he feels sorry for me. He could never want me. Nobody could ever want me. I'm a horrible broken thing the world made me, and for that I hate the world.
I got off my bed, and went to take a shower. Grabbing all the necessary things to do so. Through out all of that Michael wouldn't even look at me. He just kept his eyes adverted.
I kept thinking about how much I just fucked up all through out my shower. Things probably wouldn't be the same now. That's my punishment for being greedy.
I also thought about how I'd fix things with Pete. I had a few ideas, but I had one in particular I really liked. I decided I'd do it after my shower.
Turning the water off I got out, and dried off. I then got dressed, and did my make up. Nothing much. Just enough to fade away the scars.
I hung my towel up, and left the bathroom. I then made my way down stairs grabbing my bag, and entering the kitchen to grab a needle and thread. I then made my way to the garage to grab a small drill.
Making sure I had everything as well as my cigarettes, and lighter. I made my way upstairs to find Michael. He was asleep again. Laying on his side, his back towards the door. I could see him lightly shivering so I went, and covered him. I stared at his face while doing so, and then left out the door which I came.
  Walking once again down the stairs to the front door. I picked up my keys on my way out.
   The air outside was fresh, and cool. I could feel a light breeze as well. I looked up, and saw one or two dark clouds signaling there'd be a light drizzle today. Well I better do this quick then.