Stockholm Syndrome (Larry Stylinson)

Old Friend & Mine

Chapter 19:

ZAYN

Liam and I were the only ones left in the living room, and I desperately wanted to talk to him about that night, but he seemed to be avoiding me now. Was this the way he felt after the first time? I mean, it was a bit different because I actually have feelings for Liam, but it must still be the same stinging feeling.

He was acting so casual, as if nothing has happened. It made me feel even worse just knowing that this was probably the way I made him feel once, too. I wanted to talk to him about it, but I had no clue what to say or how to start the conversation. Guess I just wing it?

"Can we talk Liam?" I asked. I usually wasn't ever nervous or scared, but this was an exception. I didn't even know how to explain how I felt to Liam. I didn't even know if I could ever win Liam's feelings over. He was just so into Harry, and I wish he was into me.

He looked over at me with a raised eyebrow and then nodded, turning the TV off. "What do you want to talk about?" He asked as he rested his elbows on his knees and waited for me to speak. I had a feeling he already knew, but he was probably hoping it wasn't what he thought.

"About what happened in the hotel room." I fell silent for a bit before I whispered "About us..." Liam gave a sigh of frustration, and I suddenly wished I never brought the topic up when he finally began speaking, breaking me with every word.

"Zayn, there is no us. What happened in the hotel room was one night only. It'll never happen again. I thought we were on some unspoken ground there? I thought we both knew that that was a mistake?" He asked, and it hurt that he thought of it as a mistake. Did he not remember that I like him a lot?

I looked at him and glared at him a bit. "It was not a mistake." I began, and he looked shocked. "Liam, when I said that I liked you, and that I wanted you, I didn't just mean that I wanted to have sex with you! I like you for way more than that. God, I think I want to actually be with you! I know you like Harry, and that you've never had feelings for me, but please tell me- is there any way to make you like me? Anything I could do?" I asked. I know I sounded desperate and whiny, and I hated that, but I just really liked Liam. I would do anything to be with him.

He sat there silently, and I already knew his reply. I groaned and gripped at my hair in my own frustration. "I don't know what you expect me to say, Zayn! If someone doesn't have feelings for a person, it's not like they could just grow them all of a sudden! You can't tell yourself who to like! You know this! And you know I like Harry-"

"Thanks. Thanks for that glorious reminder, Liam. Really. That's just the thing I need to hear right now." I said, getting a bit rude and sarcastic because that was my defense to being hurt. Liam didn't need to know that though.

"Well, you don't have to be an ass about this, Zayn! I'm trying to let you know that I don't want to lead you on. You already know how I feel. That night was fun, but you're not the one I like, and you can't just make someone like you bu doing one little thing." He said, but that only pissed me off more.

"Nobody's being an ass but you. What happened to 'I don't wanna repeat that night' because you did it! You still slept with me! And you didn't pretend like I told you to. You said my name, Liam! You came, saying my name! That has to mean something!" I defended.

"Well, sorry for getting your hopes up." He muttered, and that was all I could take from him. He wasn't worth this. I just needed to forget about him like I did all those years, even if it hurt. Go numb again, Zayn.

"It's okay. It always will be." I said before I got up and walked towards the front door, deciding to get some air. "Zayn, please don't be this way, I-"