Stockholm Syndrome (Larry Stylinson)

Nightmares

Was gonna wait 'til tomorrow to post this chapter, but I feel crappy and writing always helps. Here you go, loves!

Chapter 30:

HARRY

Numb. I felt numb all over as I cried against the door, my small pleas for Louis to come back still proving to be ineffective, but I still tried. "Louis. Please. Please." I cried, but I knew he didn't even hear me. He already walked away.

I curled up against the door and laid down. I couldn't stop crying, not that I even wanted to. It hurt so much. Louis was the only person I think I could ever love. He loved me. He loved me. He had to love me.

Maybe none of this was actually happening. Maybe it's just a dream. Oh, how I wish this was just a dream. Not all of it, just the painful parts because if Louis himself were a dream, I would hate life when I woke up.

He was perfect in every single way. I gave a dry chuckle as more tears fell. Funny how he just broke me to pieces with his words, and all I can think about is how perfect he is. But he is perfect, and I would never deny that fact.

Even if he didn't love me. No. He loved me. He loved me. He has to love me. "Please love me." I cried out, wishing Louis would come back into the room and just hold me and tell me he was just kidding. Why can't it just be like that? Why can't we just put this behind us? Why can't he just hold me and tell me he loves me, too?

Deep down I knew he won't. As much as I wish he would, Louis was strong. He was strong even without me, but I was weak without him. I hated everything right now. I wanted it all to just disappear and wash away. I didn't want to feel the break in my heart that was getting more severe with each passing second. Each second made me realize that this was real. Louis actually said the words he said. He said he didn't love me. But he had to love me. Fuck! He had to love me!

"Louis... please." I choked out through my sobs. No matter how long I begged and pleaded, he never cane back to the room. Never. He didn't need me. He didn't love me.

I cried furisously, standing up and attempting to wipe at my tears, but more only fell in their place. "FINE! I DON'T NEED YOU! I DON'T FUCKING NEED YOU!" I yelled at the door, punching at it and kicking it, trying to get some sort of reaction out of Louis. Even anger. I needed him to do something. Yell at me. Hit me. Just come back to me!

"YOU'RE A FUCK UP, LOUIS! YOU HEAR ME!? I FUCKING HA- I HATE YOU!" I yelled, choking on the lie the first time. "YOU'RE A LIAR! A WORTHLESS LIAR AND I DON'T LOVE YOU!" I yelled out, banging on the door with all I had, but nobody came. Nobody came. I was all alone.

"I'm sorry!" I cried out right after. "I'm sorry! I love you, Louis! Shit! I love you so much!" I cried, feeling my legs give out as I fell to the floor against the bed. "I love you. You love me. That's the way it has to be." I sang out a bit, feeling like I was losing my mind.

"My heart fits with yours." I whispered, remembering when Louis said that. I grabbed onto the necklace he gave me, holding it tightly, even if it hurt my hand and made little indents where I was gripping it at. I didn't care. It hurt less than the pain that was inside.

It was scary that I needed Louis, but that didn't matter. I just needed him. Everything would be okay if he would just love me. He loves me. He has to. It was his promise.

I cried against the side of the bed, looking at the door and hoping it would just open and Louis would rush in apologizing. It never did.

I felt my eyelids get heavy, and I welcomed sleep. Maybe sleep could help to take the pain away. Make me forget, just for a second. Even if the afterwake will hurt so much more. Maybe I deserved it. Maybe I didn't deserve Louis. I didn't deserve Louis.
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