The secret

The hospital

"Liv. Liv" I hear Elliot's voice.
"El?" I say. The room is blurry.
"Yeah Liv. It's me" he says.
I look around the room. It's a hospital. I look down and see that I'm hooked up to some machine. I start to panic. Oh shit.
"Liv, calm down it's okay" he says
"No it's not. It's not okay! I need to leave!" I say trying to pull off what ever is stuck to my arm.
"Liv you can't leave!" He says trying to hold me down.
"No! Get off me! Leave me alone. I'm fine. Let me go!" I scream.
"Doctor!" He yells.
"No I don't need a doctor! I'm fine. Get of me! " I say swinging at him.
"Liv calm down!" He says.
"I can't! You can't! Please just go Elliot. Don't look at me" I scream.
"No Liv. I'm not going anywhere. Why don't you want me to look at you?" He says.
"Because you know. And Cragen knows and everyone is going to know!" I say.
"Know what Liv" he asks holding my hand.
"You know. Don't make me tell you!" I cry.
"Liv it's okay. It's not your fault!" He says
"Yes it's is!" I scream
"Liv how!? You of all people know that it's never he victims fault!" He says
"No I'm not a victim because it was my fault!"
"Liv that doesn't make sense!"
"Yes it does. I didn't fight back. So I'm not a victim!" I scream
"Liv! It's not your fault!"
"Yes it is!"
"Liv" he says softly. "Non of this is your fault. If you had fought back he could of killed you!"
I can't take it anymore. I just break down into tears. I cry. I can't stop.
"Liv don't cry. It's not your fault" he says hugging me.
"Liv, tell me what happened"
"No. I can't!" I say
"Liv why? Are you ashamed? because you have nothing to be ashamed of!"
"I'm dirty now"
"Is that what he told you?"
I nod.
"Liv! You are not dirty! And it's not your fault and you have nothing to be ashamed of! And as soon as we get the DNA from the rape kit-"
"What?! They did a rape kit?! Why?! When?!"
"Liv because you were raped! And don't try to tell me you weren't! They did it when you were asleep"
I start to cry again.
"When they get the DNA from the rape kit, I will make sure that son of a bitch pays for what he did to you!"
I cry again. I look up at him and smile.
"Liv? Is that what your nightmare was about?" He asks.
I nod.
"Liv it's okay. It's okay." He says as he holds me in his arms.