The secret

The report

When he is finished he kisses me on the cheek and walks away.
I moan in pain.
"Ma'am. Ma'am. Are you okay?" I hear a woman's voice walking towards me.
I pull up my underwear then pants and stand up. I see my gun and shield in the ground. I see the woman looking at them. She picks them up and hands them too me.
"You're a police officer?" She asks.
"Yes. Thank you" I say taking them from her and walking out of the ally.
I can't quite get my mind around what had happened.
"Officer" she says holding my arm. "Are you okay?"
"Yeah. Thanks"
I walk down the street. I feel like everyone is watching me. I feel like everyone knows. They all know my dirty little secret. I continue to walk down the street. I reach my apartment building and walk into the elevator. Again everyone is looking at me. When the floor stops I run out and to my apartment door. I feel my hands shake as I attempt to open the door.
"Liv" I feel a hand in my shoulder. I jump.
"David" I relax when I see it's only my next door neighbor.
"Liv are you okay?" He says holding my shoulder. He stairs at me.
"Yeah. Thanks. Night" I say walking into my apartment.
I slam the door and slide down it. I cry into my hands. "Come on! Get up!" I say to myself standing up. I walk into the bathroom and see that I have a cut on the side of my face. That's what the people were staring at! I splash my face with cold water. I look at the shower. "I'm not a victim" I say to myself as I undress and get in the shower. I feel so dirty. I scrub my body clean three times. I wash my hair in coconut shampoo. When I climb out I walk into my bedroom and get dressed into my pjs.
I don't feel like eating so I dry my hair and get straight into bed.

Please stop! Get off of me!
Shut up you dirty little whore!

I wrestle in my sheets as I wake up. "It's just a dream! It's just a dream! I'm not a victim!" I say to myself as I roll over and attempt to fall to sleep.

The next morning I wake up and get straight in the shower. I feel so dirty. "I'm not a victim!" I say to myself as I scrub myself clean again.

When I get to the precinct we have a case already. I sit down at my desk. Cragen walks in.
"Last night there was a report of a rape in an ally" he says
My heart sinks.
"Who's the vic?" Elliot asks.
"We don't know. The witness reported it. She was a middle aged woman" he replies.
I feel like my heart fell so much it fell out my ass.
"Then we don't have a case" I say.
"Liv we can't just ignore this. You of all people know that!" Elliot says.
"If the victim.. If the person who was attacked doesn't want to report it. They don't have to. You can't make them!" I say going up to get a cup of coffee.
"Liv we can't ignore this. The vic was one of us!" Cragen says from behind me.
Yep my heart is on the floor from falling out of my ass.
"The witness said that the women had a gun and a shield. She said that the vic was in her late 30's, tall with brown hair" he adds.
"Well it was dark, witnesses get confused, they aren't always reliable!" I say sitting down.
"Liv! What's wrong with you today!?" Cragen asks.
"Nothing! It's just that if she doesn't want to report it nobody can make her! God!" I say with a snap.
Cragen and Elliot look at each other.
"Liv? Are you okay?" Elliot asks.
"Yes Elliot I'm fine!" I say picking up my pen and begin to start my paper work.

The day was long. Me and Elliot are working on a case about a child pornography dealer. I look over to the clock. 12:30 it reads. I yawn.
"Liv go to the cribs. I'll come get you if I need you" he says.
"You sure?"
"Yeah! Go!" He says pointing to the door.
I walk to the cribs. I go to the bed in the corner. It's more private and nobody uses that one but me. I climb in and fall to sleep.

Elliot's POV
I have no idea what was up with Liv today! Reacting like that. That's not her. Everyone is a victim to her!
I look threw the files and find a new lead. I look at the clock it shows 01:45.
She's had enough sleep! I make my way to the cribs to get her. I open the door.
"No! Please! Get off me! Please stop!"
I run over to her.
"Liv. Liv it's Elliot." I say
She is wrestling with the sheets.
"No! Get off me! Please!"
"Liv. Liv it's okay I've got you! It's just me!" I say.
She continues to thrash in the bed. She is kicking and screaming. She punches me in the face.
"Liv. Liv! It's okay. It's Elliot!" I say.
She jolts forward leaning in her elbows.
She is panting and gasping for breath.
"Liv it's okay. It's just me!" I say.
She doesn't say anything. She just sits up and puts her fingers through her hair.
"Liv, what was that about?!" I ask.
"Nothing I'm fine!" She says.
"Liv?!" I'm not convinced.
"El I'm fine. It was just a nightmare"
"What about?"
"Nothing" she says jetting out of the bed and walking to the door.
"Liv that want nothing!" I say holding her arm. She jumps and turns around.
"Don't touch me" she says hitting me. "I'm fine" she says as she walks out.