The secret

The dream

Elliot wouldn't let me be alone. You know, just I case. Even though he is in custody, Elliot feels like he needs to protect me! He is so sweet, but I'm fine. He insisted on taking me up to my apartment. We watched a few films and ordered a pizza. I think he was trying to take my mind off of everything that has happened.

"You tired?" He says sarcastically as I yawn.
"Yeah, but I don't want to go to sleep" I say as I snuggle up on the edge of the sofa in my fluffy blanket.
"Why?" He asks.
"I don't want to re live that night. And all the memories come back, when I sleep" I tell him.
"Liv, I know it's hard, but you need to sleep, and when you wake up I'll be just here, I promise. I'll stay right here with you. I promise" he says.
I nod and curl up and fall to sleep.

I begin to feel paranoid. I stop in my tracks.
"Hello detective Benson" I hear a voice behind me.
He pushes me into the ally. He kneels over me. He unbuckles my belt.
"No! Get off me! Please! Help! Get of! Please leave me alone!"
I kick and scream. "Get off me!" I punch and kick and fight him off but I'm just too weak. "Please stop!"

"Liv, Liv it's okay, it's just me. It's Elliot. It's okay Liv your just dreaming" I hear.
I continue to kick and punch.
I open my eyes and find Elliot holding his nose.
"Oh my god did I do that?" I ask as I see the blood gushing from his nose.
He tries to tilt his head back.
"El no, forward!" I say as I hand him like 100 tissues.
"What?" He says confused.
"Tilt your head forward and pinch you nose at the bridge" I reply.
"What? You tilt your head back!"
"Yeah if you want to drown in your blood! Tilt if forward!" I say holds his head forward.
"Wow, you really do learn something new everyday!" He says laughing.
When we clear him up we sit back on the couch.

"El I'm so sorry!" I say.
"Liv don't apologise, it not your fault!"
"I'm still sorry!" I laugh.
"Liv, what did he do to you?" He asks putting his hand on my shoulder.
"Nothing" I say resting my head on the back of the couch.
"Liv I'm so sorry" he says.
"Don't be. It was my fault" I say.
"Olivia Benson! If you say that one more time-"
"What, what will you do? It WAS my fault!"
"How? Did you ask him to do that-"
"NO!"
"Then tell me how is this slightly your fault!"
"I told you before! I didn't fight him off! I didn't do anything!"
"How many victims have we worked with that didn't fight their attacker off!?"
"Elliot, I'm not a victim."
"Then what are you?! Your were attacked for Gods sake!" He says with a tone I've never herd before. I herd his voice crack as he spoke. I look up and see that his eyes are filling up with tears.
"Liv, I'm so sorry for what happened to you. But you, more than anyone knows, pushing this aside, it doesn't help at all! Please Liv. Let me help you get through this" . There's that tone again. His voice cracking, but this time the tears spill from his perfect blue eyes and fall down his tinted rosy cheeks.
I don't say anything, I just move over to him. I crawl into his arms. He holds me close, gently rocking me. I lay my head on his chest. I hear his heart racing at a million beats per hour. We lay there until we fall asleep.

When I wake up I see him looking down at me, running his fingers through my hair. It's so comfating.
"Morning" he whispers.
"Morning" I reply. I sit up.
"Wait. I didn't have the dream!"
"You didn't?"
"No. I dreamt about eating a McDonald's!" I say laughing.
"Oh! what did you order?" He asks laughing with me.
"I had 50 chicken nuggets and a chocolate chip frappe!" I say. "Ugh. I want that now!"
"Let's go then!" He says siting up.
"What?!"
"Let's go!"
"You have work!"
"Cragen already knows I'm looking after you. So he gave me a few days off"
"Oh my god! Okay!" I laugh.
"Go get ready" he says. I run to my bedroom like a little kid! I get dressed.
When I walk out I see Elliot already dressed. He must have used the spare clothes in my wardrobe that he leaves here.
"Ready?" He asks
"Yeah. Let's go!"