Red Eyed Soulmates

Josh's Story

*PLEASE READ, IF YOU ARE TRIGGERED BY SELF HARM, PLEASE DO NOT READ FROM *** TO ***, I WANT ALL OF YOU GUYS TO BE SAFE. I CARE ABOUT YOU GUYS, STAY ALIVE |-/*

Josh's POV:

School was something that I always dreaded. My parents didn't understand what I was going through because I never told them anything about my demons. I know, it seems like such an emo thing to say, but these bullies really fucked with me. I would come home with a black eye and my Mom would ask me what happened and I would just say I got hit with a ball or I fell. I'm not saying that my Mother wasn't caring, because she asked me what happened every time I had a wound. She wasn't inquisitive about why it happened or who did it or if I was lying. That really bothered me, I had nobody to talk to and everyone I talked to would just laugh at me and walk away with their asshole friends. I hate school and 99.99% of the time I wanted to be invisible. Everyone would laugh at my appearance and they would make fun of my hair. I don't understand why everyone had a problem with a guy with bleached blonde hair, goddamned losers.

"Faggot, only gays would dye their hair that gay ass color."

"I hope you rot in hell and I hope your hair burns first, it's uglier than you, and that's pretty fucking ugly."

I would cry in the school's bathroom a lot but then it got to the point where I wouldn't cry, I would get used to being called a faggot and a loser. I became an emotionless marcher in my own personal hell.

*** I went home, having the worst day ever. I was home alone for the whole weekend, which meant I got to cry as loud as I wanted and do something my soul never wanted but my mind craved it. I needed to cut. So I went to the bathroom and I took my pocket knife out of my backpack. I decided to cut near my elbow so I could cover it easier. I didn't cut very deep because I was scared, but just enough to feel the adrenaline. I saw little spots of blood starting to form on my white, lifeless skin. I ran my arm under some cold water, watching the bad parts of my soul run down the drain. Thinking about the sadness running into the salty waters of the oceans for all eternity. I only made 3 marks because I didn't want my parents to know, I slid down against the wall after I stopped bleeding which didn't take long.***

I cried as loud as I wanted, and it felt amazing to let it all out. I just wish I had someone to lean on, to talk to and to be understood without being called an emo faggot loser and being beat up. Nobody cares about me and the world had made that pretty obvious. Then there was a ring at the doorbell, I opened the door.

"Um, hi... Is this a bad time? You don't look too happy."

"No I'm fine." I said, wiping a tear away and grinning, "Just a bad day at school. Who are you? Are you new here?"

"Yeah, I just moved here, I'm Y/N, can I come in?" She said, smirking a bit, I liked that.

"Oh, I'm Josh." I said, holding my hand out for a hand shake. Then, she did something so unexpected it knocked the wind out of me... She, she, hugged me!

"I don't want you to be sad, Josh. I don't understand exactly what you're going through, but please, you're the only person who hasn't been a dick to me today, and I really appreciate that. Thank you so much." She said as tears welled up in her eyes, she pulled away and turned a shade of red.

"Hey hey hey, don't cry. The same thing happens to me every day, that's why I was crying." I said staring at her tinted cheeks, I liked that.

"Hey, can we take this conversation to your roof? I've always wanted a friend to do that with." She said, eager to bond with someone.

"I've always wanted to do that too, but everyone else would just call me an emo faggot and punch me." I said, looking down.

"Don't be upset, one day you're gonna be a superstar and everyone's gonna be jealous." She told me sternly, smiling, I liked her smile.