ANCHOR

Chapter 13

HOPE

  "Hope. What did you just say?" Mel was looking at me from across the lunch table, her eyes wide and questioning. The cafeteria was filled with the loud ramble of multiple voices at once, but I had the feeling the question was rhetorical. I sighed. "Mel it's just coffee." I lied, knowing there was something else, much bigger. "Hell no," she said, stirring her straw around in her ice coffee then lowering her voice. "You and I both know how many times you've turned Jared down after school, because we always hang out. Now you're ditching me and him for a kid you just met yesterday?!? This is not just coffee and you know it." She was right. I did know it.

   "What am I supposed to do Mel? He asked me for coffee and I said yes." she thought about it, then sighed. I realized she was jealous, but she was trying her best not to hold it against me. "Just coffee." she told me, as if she were assuring herself. "And don't forget you have a perfectly handsome boyfriend already on you're hands, Hope." I felt a wave of guilt. Two days ago, Jared was everything I could ever want.

  He was waiting for me in the exact same place he said he'd be, leaning on the bike racks, his long arms crossed and his back slightly slouched. He was looking through the crowds of people, and when his eyes saw me, His lips formed into a shy smile. My breath caught the same time my heart dropped.

  "Hi Sam." I said the words I had grown to be comfortable with saying to him. "Hi Hope." he replied, looking long and hard into my eyes until we started walking, shoulder to shoulder, to his car. My stomach was fluttered with nerves as I climbed into the passanger seat, my nose picking up the warm scent of cinnamon. The seats were worn and comfortable, and music began playing when he turned on the engine.

   "Sorry." He mumbled, and reached over to turn it off. It was a quiet, soft melody, one that I knew most boys wouldn't listen to. "Its okay, keep it on." I told him, captured by the soft strings of the guitar, the voice that broke and rose and fell. It was full of emotion, pain. I realized I had closed my eyes, and opened them to look at him, his eyes intent on the road. "Who is this?" I asked, referring to the CD that was being played. He looked at me from under his eyelashes, his cheeks staining red as he replied, barely audible,"me."

   I quieted down then, listening to the music. Listening to the words.

"Your dark hair falls in soft curls and frames your pretty face.

I've tried and I've failed to compare the blue in your eyes to so many things,

But no ocean or sky could shake up my mind the way your glance can.

I am your man, and you are my girl,

I'll linger just to taste those words.

Whatever you need, I pray,

You find it with your arms wrapped around me.

'Cause I promise,

I won't fall apart,

I won't fall apart,

I won't fall apart this time." 

***(this is a real song by a band named the district, all rights to lyrics goes to them. I just thought it fit really well.:) if you wanna check it out it's called I wont fall apart.)

     I had dark wavy hair. I had blue eyes. My face was on fire, I looked over to him, his face looked like mine felt. "Wow." I felt myself saying. He looked over to me, unsure. "Yeah." he said quietly.

    My stomach was burning, with something that could only be described as desire and tinged with hurt. His voice continued, soft and smooth through the speakers, as neither of us moved our lips.

This time, I swear to you Darlin',

It's orchids and snow angels,

I will not leave you alone; all alone.

'Cause I promise,

I won't fall apart,

I won't fall apart,

I promise you, I promise you,

I promise,

I won't fall apart,

I won't fall apart,

I won't fall apart this time.

  The song ended, and I reached over, slow and careful, turning the sound dial down. "Sam?" I asked. "Hope?" he asked. I felt like whatever awkwardness was once between us had melted down, and we were stripped bare, nothing left between us but space. It was so easy to cross. So easy..."Pull over." I told him. He did exactly as I asked, without question. I thought of how much I wanted to kiss him, this boy I had really only met yesterday. But Jared...

   So I decided to test my limits. "Why did you help me that day?" I asked. His eyes were looking at me, the flecks of gold shining where the sun hit his face perfectly. He stayed there silent for a while, as if deciding what to say. I knew whatever I was feeling in this moment would be something that I would replay, over and over. The mystery of Sam Torres solved. I wanted nothing more at this exact moment, than to know anything and everything about him.