I KNOW PLACES ➶ STAR WARS

Part VI // Fear

Trigger warning for those who are suicidal.

Obi-Wan awoke to find that Padmé had turned around completely, her nose almost touching his. His arms were somehow wrapped around her back, pulling her closer. This looks completely wrong, he thought.

Padmé's eyes dragged open, but she looked rather comfortable to be in an almost-kiss position with him. "Morning," she whispered, offering a small smile.

Her smile triggered his. "Shall I get breakfast started?" He felt infected by her happiness.

"I can get it, in case you want to meditate. I'll call you when it's ready." She sat up with some difficulty, but Obi-Wan asked her to stay and rest some more.

"I'll do it," he assured her.

"Last night would've been a disaster if I didn't help you," she reminded him playfully.

He nodded solemnly, knowing that was true. "I promise I won't burn it or use anything you're allergic to."

She laid back down, resting her head on her hand, which lay flat on the crisp white pillow. "Thank you." She smiled sweetly.

Still not knowing how he should feel about the night before, he chose to keep things professional and respectful. "Of course, milady." He set off to make the easiest thing he could find in the cookbook.

When the meal was finished and the table was set, Obi-Wan called out and asked her to join him. When no answer came, he called for her once more; again, there was no reply. He started to fear that his time there would be just two weeks more. He pushed the guest room's door open softly, using his fingertips. But Obi-Wan sighed in relief when he found that she was only sleeping. He shut the door and placed her plate in the cooler for later, deciding to allow her more time to sleep.

Obi-Wan ate alone, in silence, which at any other time might have been enjoyable to him, thinking nothing of Padmé's unusual sleep schedule.

After sitting quietly for a bit, he sat a cushion on the floor for meditation purposes. He meditated for longer than usual. The images he saw were disturbing, more so than ever. Death, anger, rage, and love plagued his mind.

When he had awakened, he noticed that the windows in the living room were dark, the skyline's silhouette standing out against a deep purple sky. His eyebrows knitted together as he saw no sign of Padmé being awake at all; her plate laid untouched in the cooler, nothing was moved or out of place. He sprinted to the guest bedroom and found that she was not there, yet the sheets were a mess.

"Senator?" He dashed to her bedroom. The doors were locked, and he could hear frantic sobbing. After two unsuccessful attempts, Obi-Wan kicked one of the double doors down. Padmé was leaning over the bed, crying hysterically, her forearms and the blankets covered in ruby red blood.

He came to her side, trying to figure out exactly what happened. Then he saw the source of the blood: two identical vertical slits on both forearms, reaching from her wrists almost to her elbows. He stifled a gasp, knowing it would only upset her more.

It took him a moment to gather himself. "Let's get this cleaned up," he coaxed calmly, trying to console her.

"No; no, leave me!" She would not leave on her own, so Obi-Wan knew he was going to have to coerce her. He picked her up, ignoring her screamed protests.

He carried her into the washroom, where he washed her arms and staunched the flow with gauze and medical tape. He wiped her tears away, a task that he thought would never end. When she seemed to run out of tears, she leaned into him, cautious of her sore arms.

"You scared me. I thought I was going to lose you," he said, embracing her gently. He laid his chin on her head and closed his eyes.

"That blanket's ruined."

He laughed. "I hope you're not seriously worried about the blanket."

"I hate that blanket." She buried her head in his neck. "It smells like him."

"We can get rid of it if it makes you uncomfortable." They stood for a moment, neither of them moving at all. "Are you feeling better?" He looked down at her.

"No." She laughed humorlessly.

"What happened? You seemed fine this morning." He brushed her hair out of her face.

She looked at him, fear and hopelessness etched into her facial features. "I hate living in fear, Obi-Wan. I can't do it anymore."

He placed a shaking hand on her stomach tentatively and looked straight into her brown eyes. "I think you're forgetting why you saved your own life."