Cruel Intentions

Chapter Fifteen

"I can't stay here every day to check on her. That is something you must do. Make sure she eats and sleeps, Loki. Do whatever you have to do to make sure she stays healthy." Eir explained.

Loki nodded his head as Eir sighed. Eir sat Loki down in the living area and knelt before him to use her magic to fill his stomach.

"She's a good woman, Loki. She's cares for so many that she forgets she has herself to care about too." Eir remarked.

Loki watched as Eir left the room and he slowly stood from his seat. He walked into Asta's room and found her sitting up against the headboard. Her knees were up against her chest and she rocked herself softly. Asta's cheeks were stained with tears, her eyes red and puffy from crying for hours. Asta looked up at Loki and wiped her nose as she sighed.

"What do you want?" Asta asked.

Loki walked over to her bed and she looked him up and down as he sat on the edge of it. He put his hand out to her and she swallowed the lump in her throat before shaking her head.

"I will not leave this bed, I will not eat, I will not sleep...not until my grandmother's soul can avenged by finding her murderers. I want her to avenged just like my family. I hate feeling like this. I don't want to feel this way. I hate the anger, Loki. I hate it. I want it to go away but I fear that it may never leave me." Asta explained as her lips trembled.

Loki furrowed his brow as he watched her grip the bed sheets until her knuckles turned white.

"I hate it!" Asta screamed.

Loki stood from the bed as Asta knocked over the lamp, books, and papers that laid on her nightstand. She looked up at Loki with pleading eyes as she whimpered.

"Can't you see what it does to me?" She panted.

Loki walked over to her side and she furrowed her brow as Loki picked up the objects from the floor and placed them back on her nightstand, even though the lamp was broken.

"Don't put them back. That's not the point." Asta said.

She gripped Loki's shirt and pulled him towards her. His face was mere inches away from hers and he gulped as Asta released her grip and caressed the sides of his face.

"That's not the point." Asta whispered.

Asta cracked a smile as she leaned forward and laid a kiss to his cheek.

"I wish you could speak. I wish you could tell me that everything will be alright and that my pain will go away. Can you do that?" Asta confessed.

Loki sat on the bed as he picked up a pencil and paper. He wrote on the paper and when he finished, he showed her the paper and Asta took it in her hands. She screamed as she ripped the paper into tiny little pieces. Loki tried to stop her and gripped her wrists tightly as she shook her head.

"Writing it is not the same as telling me! I don't want your written words!" Asta exclaimed angrily.

Loki into Asta's eyes and saw the fire burning behind them. He let her hands go and she heaved as she pushed the pieces of paper off the bed and onto the floor.

"Will the pain go away?" Asta asked.

Loki nodded his head and Asta sighed.

"When?" Asta inquired.

Loki shrugged his shoulders and Asta scoffed as her lips trembled.

"Go away now. I don't want to look at you." Asta told him.

Loki wrote on another sheet of paper and handed it to her. Don't say that, you love me. Asta glared up at Loki as she pursed her lips together. She gripped the paper tightly and huffed. She could tell Loki was smirking with his look.

"Not in that way, Loki, I told you already. Don't use my feelings to mock me." Asta explained.

Loki went to write again when Asta stopped him.

"Leave, Loki. I told you to leave! Leave!" Asta screamed.

Seeing this side of Asta frightened Loki. She had confessed before that after her parents and siblings were killed, she had become filled with rage but upon forgiving their murderers, she became kinder and gentler with everyone she met. She vowed she would never be angry again, seeing that her rage ate away at her. Loki felt a tear escape his eye as he stared at her. Her hair was a mess and her face was paler than usual.

"I said get out!" Asta cried.

Loki quickly stood from the bed and paced towards the door. He glanced over his shoulder at Asta and felt the sudden urge to run over to her, wrap her in his arms, and hold her tightly. But, he fought back his urge and left the room. As Loki sat in the living room, he tried his best to focus on his book, but the sounds of Asta's cries and wails kept him distracted. Later that night, Loki lay asleep in his bed and awoke to a crashing noise coming from the room next to him, Agnette's room. He sat up in his bed and his eyes widened when Asta's covers were pushed back to reveal that she was not in the room. Loki ran out of the bedroom and stood in Agnette's open doorway to find Asta trashing the room. She had thrown lamps, books, and other items in the room. She ruined the covers of Agnette's bed by spilling the paint Agnette used all over them before she threw them to the ground. Asta had ripped pages from many of Agnette's books and threw them into the air as she watched them fly down towards her. Loki rushed inside and Asta tried to run from him.

"Leave me alone!" She cried.

Loki wrapped his arms around Asta from behind and gripped her wrists tightly as he held them against her chest. Asta fought against him and sobbed as she shook her head from side to side. Loki laid his chin on her shoulder and swayed her from side to side, trying to calm her.

"Let me go. Please, let me go." Asta whispered.

Asta turned her head to look up at Loki as he stood up straight. Loki then let her hands go as he let his hands fall towards her stomach, where he still held her against him. Loki kept swaying her as her cries died down to only soft whimpers. After some time, Asta closed her eyes and sighed. She laid her hands over Loki's and wished he was not wearing his gloves to feel the soft skin of his hands on her. Eir had entered the quarters upon hearing the noise and watched silently as the two swayed together. She raised a brow as Asta laid her head against Loki's shoulder, turning her head ever so slightly to open her eyes and look up at Loki. He looked down at her and rested his cheek against the top of her head, still swaying her. Loki then picked Asta up into his arms bridal style and carried her back into her bedroom, not noticing Eir in the darkness of the kitchen. Loki laid Asta down in her bed and Asta gripped his hand as he began to walk back to his bed.

"I don't want to be alone." Asta whispered.

Loki sighed as he nodded his head. Asta moved over to the side of the bed and made room for Loki. He laid himself down next to Asta and he inhaled sharply as Asta curled herself around him.

"You won't leave me, will you? You won't leave me...or die." Asta asked.

Loki shook his head in response and Asta smiled weakly.

"Good. If I lost you too, I'd surely go mad." Asta chuckled.

Loki sighed as she closed her eyes and finally fell asleep after two days of no sleep at all. He knew how exhausted she must have been. Eir sighed before exiting their quarters once Loki helped her into their bedroom. Eir knew how much the two depended on one another. She just hoped that Loki could give her the care and help she needed. The following morning, Asta awoke to find her bed empty. Her eyes widened as she looked around the room for Loki.

"Loki?" She whispered.

Asta got out of the bed and ran into the bathroom. He was not there and Asta felt the tears begin to form in her eyes as she ran into the kitchen.

"Loki!" She exclaimed.

Loki appeared in the kitchen, holding a bowl and spoon. Asta let out a sigh of relief and made her way over to him. Upon seeing him cook, she shook her head.

"I'm not hungry, Loki." Asta said.

For the next few days, that was all she told him. She was not hungry. Loki knew that she was starving and grew fed up with her. She remained in her bed and cast off anything Loki cooked for her, making Loki leave it outside by the front door for any stray dogs or cats to eat. But this time, he wouldn't take no for answer. As much as he loved her and did not want to hurt her, he had to make her eat. Loki walked into their bedroom and found Asta sitting against the headboard staring at the wall. Dark circles formed under her eyes and her skin grew paler ever day. Her body ached whenever she moved and did nothing but stare at the wall. Word had not come back yet on the capture of Agnette's murderers. He pushed the bowl in front of her and she pushed it away from her face weakly. Her hand fell to the bed as she shook her head.

"No, I...I'm not hungry. No." Asta moaned.

Loki shoved the bowl in front of her once more and her brow furrowed in pain.

"No...I said no." Asta sighed.

Loki used the spoon to pick up some of the soup and Asta shook her head as she looked up at Loki.

"Don't. I-I...I can't. I'm not hungry...at the moment." Asta whispered.

Loki put the spoon to her mouth and Asta pursed her lips together.

"Mmm, mm." Asta shook her head.

Loki pulled the spoon away, knowing that what he had to do was going to hurt him more than it would hurt her. He pinched her nose together and as Asta gasped in surprise he put the spoon in her mouth. As her lips closed around it, she went to grab it, but Loki gripped her wrist. She used her other hand to swat his off of her as she shook her head from side to side. Loki pulled the spoon out of her mouth as she swallowed the liquid and Asta shuddered as she let out a whimper.

"I said I wouldn't. I wouldn't do it for her." Asta sighed.

Loki put the spoon back into the bowl and scooped up more of the soup before bringing it to her lips again. For the first few spoonfuls, Loki and Asta fought with one another, but after the seventh spoonful, Asta stopped fighting and accepted the warm liquid. Loki panted softly once Asta had finished the soup and he waited to see how Asta would react to the food in her stomach. Moments later, Asta furrowed her brow as she put her hand on her stomach. Loki nodded his head as he took the bowl and held it by the side of the bed as she retched the contents of her stomach into the bowl. Loki emptied the bowl in the bathroom and as he stepped back into the room, he could see sweat forming on Asta's brow. Loki furrowed his brow as he walked over to her. Her breaths were labored and he watched as her eyes would occasionally roll into the back of her head. He laid his forearm against her head and found that she was burning up.

"Loki...I don't-I don't feel well." Asta said softly.

Loki sat on the edge of the bed as he took Asta's face in his hands and examined her. He went to leave but Asta weakly raised her hand off the bed to stop him. Loki did not notice her and Asta moaned in pain as she tried to move herself.

"No...Loki, come back...I need you." Asta whispered.

Loki made his way into Eir's new quarters and dragged her into his.

"What is going on?" Eir asked.

Her question was answered once she saw Asta in her bed.

"Oh dear god. What has happened to you, my dear?" Eir gasped.

She immediately began to examine Asta with the medical bag she had taken.

"Loki, he-he fed me soup and I...I was not hungry and then...I felt hot." Asta replied.

"How long has it been since you've eaten? Or even moved from this bed?" Eir inquired.

"About a week." Asta said.

"Oh, Asta. My poor, dear. Don't worry now. I'll make you feel better." Eir told her.

"Will you make my pain go away?" Asta asked.

"Yes." Eir replied.

Loki stood idly by as he watched Eir administer Asta with some medicine before injecting a fluid into her arm. Asta gasped in pain and Eir hushed her.

"This should give you the nutrients you need to get strong. Since I will not be able to be here all the time but only to check up on you at night, Loki will have to be here to inject this into you every four hours and fill this glass with this medicine every two hours. This will make you feel better in no time." Eir instructed.

Eir gave Loki a look and he nodded his head as he sat himself on the edge of the bed as Eir gathered her things and went to leave.

"I shall see you two later tonight." Eir said as she left.

Loki looked back at Asta and took her hand in his. She inhaled sharply as she breathed and Loki furrowed his brow as a few tears fell from his eyes.

"Why do you cry?" Asta asked.

Loki looked up at Asta and he gave her a look.

"I am not worth your tears, surely. I am just your caretaker. Don't cry. It isn't worth it to cry over me. I am nothing but a healer." Asta chuckled.

Loki shook his head as he brought her hand to his lips before rubbing her hand against his cheek.

"I am not dead, Loki, so do not cry. I hate crying. Crying wastes away your energy and makes you feel terrible on the inside. Stop...no more tears, please." Asta told him.

Loki sighed as he nodded his head before wiping the tears from his eyes. Asta smiled weakly as she tightened her grip on Loki's hand.

"See? Stronger already." Asta said.

Loki chuckled softly as Asta tried her best to smile as brightly as she could. Loki laid his hand against her cheek and caressed it with his thumb.

"I'm tired, Loki. Oh so very tired." Asta told him.

Loki nodded his head and watched as Asta closed her eyes and fell asleep. As two hours passed, Loki awoke Asta to help her drink her medicine. She then fell asleep once again and then Asta awoke to drink the medicine and have Loki administer the injection. She would doze off and this continued for the rest of the day.

"Whenever I open my eyes, I am welcomed by your face. Have you left my side at all?" Asta asked.

Loki shook his head and Asta giggled softly as a tear fell from her eye.

"You are too good to me, Loki. What have I done to make you treat me like this? Surely, anyone else would have left." Asta inquired.

Loki pulled out a piece of paper and knew it was time to express his true feelings. It was time she knew. He handed her the paper and Asta furrowed her brows as she read it.

"Because I love you." Asta said breathlessly.

She looked up at Loki as she gasped and cocked her head to the side.

"Is this true?" Asta asked.

Loki nodded his head and Asta inhaled sharply as more tears fell from her eyes.

"Look at what you've done. You've made me cry." Asta chuckled.

Loki chuckled along with her as he wiped his tears away and took her face in his hands.

"What have I done to make you love me? Out of all the people in this realm." Asta asked.

Loki wrote once more and handed Asta the paper.

"Because when you entered my cell on that fateful day, you did not turn from me. You knew I needed help. You cared for me and showed me how much you loved me. You made me better and formed a special place in my heart." Asta read aloud.

She held the paper to her chest as she looked up at Loki and smiled weakly.

"Oh, now you made me blush." Asta sighed.

Loki took Asta's face in his hands and Asta closed her eyes softly as Loki laid his lips against her cheek. She felt the rugged material of the string and gasped softly. Loki moved himself closer to her and Asta slowly brought her hands up to rest them on his shoulders. He pulled his head away and laid his forehead on hers.

"Do you really?" Asta asked.

Loki nodded his head and felt his heart race as Asta giggled softly.

"I love you as well, Loki. I was lying when I said as a friend. I thought you didn't love me." Asta confessed.

Loki chuckled as he shook his head before writing on the paper again. He handed it to her and Asta laughed.

"I knew." Asta said breathlessly.

Loki pushed the hair away from her face and Asta leaned forward to lay a kiss to his cheek.