Natasha: STEVE WE KNOW WHO YOUR BOYFRIEND IS
Steve: ?!
Steve: THOR!!!!!!!!!!!
Thor: DO NOT KILL ME, PLEASE
Steve: I TOLD YOU NOT TO TELL ANYONE
Steve: SERIOUSLY
Steve: I BRIBED YOU
Thor: CAPTAIN OF AMERICA, THIS DEED WAS NOT DONE BY ME
Thor: I AM HONORABLE
Steve: THEN WHO TOLD THEM
Natasha: It wasn't his fault, in all fairness
Steve: WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED
Clint: The baby is bad at keeping secrets.
Thor: I WILL SMITE THEE
Steve: THOR WHY DID YOU DO THIS TO ME
Steve: I'M SO TIRED OF MOVING TO DIFFERENT COUNTRIES
Natasha: You don't have to move.
Natasha: ... You just have to let us meet your boyfriend.
Natasha: Because otherwise we'll chase you down with machine guns and you'll have to find a country that we don't know about, because we WILL find you.
Steve: You're a pest.
Natasha: LANGUAGE
Steve: OH DEAR GOD
Tony: Hey guys, guess what?
Bruce: What is it?
Tony: I found his boyfriend
Natasha: WHAT
Clint: WHAT
Bruce: WHAT
Thor: WHAT
Steve: WHAT THE HECK
Natasha: BOYFRIEND
Steve: SHUT UP
Natasha: I REFUSE
Steve: GO MOVE TO AUSTRALIA
Natasha: WHY AUSTRALIA
Steve: I HOPE A KANGAROO POOPS ON YOUR HAIR
Natasha: STEVE WHAT THE HELL KIND OF INSULT IS THAT
Steve: YOUR HAIR WOULDN'T BE SO PRETTY THEN, WOULD IT?!
Natasha: DO NOT INSULT MY HAIR, PEASANT!!!!!
Clint: FIGHT, FIGHT, FIGHT, FIGHT
Bruce: Hey, woah, calm down, you guys.
Thor: THE INSULTS HAVE BEEN THROWN
Tony: IS EVERYBODY JUST GOING TO IGNORE THE FACT THAT I AM HIDING IN THE RAFTERS OF A TARGET STORE AND SPYING ON STEVE'S BOYFRIEND
Tony: WHO, BY THE WAY, IS NAMED JULIAN
Natasha: DO WE KNOW HIM
Tony: NO IT'S JUST A RANDOM GUY FROM TARGET
Clint: Wait, so Iron Man is just casually hiding in the rafters of Target
Tony: THAT'S NOT THE POINT, BIRDBRAIN
Steve: LEAVE JULIAN ALONE
Natasha: SO HIS NAME IS JULIAN
Thor: I DID NOTHING
Bruce: Wait, does Target even have rafters?
Steve: JUST LEAVE ME AND MY BOYFRIEND ALONE
Clint: You can't tell me what to do, Mr. Fancy Pants.
Tony: GO BACK TO YOUR NEST
Thor: DOES ANYBODY WISH TO PLAY JUST DANCE?
Bruce: Is nobody going to answer me about the rafters?
Tony: I MADE RAFTERS
Natasha: HOW LONG HAVE YOU BEEN DATING
Bruce: You just casually installed rafters into a Target store? How...?
Clint: I DO WHAT I WANNA
Steve: LIKE I'D TELL YOU ANYTHING
Thor: I WISH TO KNOW THE INFORMATION
Natasha: CLINT DO YOU ACTUALLY HAVE A NEST
Tony: I BOUGHT THE ENTIRE STORE LAST NIGHT
Clint: Yes, it's very pretty.
Steve: AAAAAAAAAAAH
Bruce: You bought the entire story just so you could spy on Steve's boyfriend?
Thor: JUST DANCE TIS THE BEST OF GAMES!
Steve: THE FLOOR JUST CAVED IN
Bruce: Tony you can't do that.
Natasha: THOOOOR
Clint: I have, like, a TV and everything inside of it.
Tony: GUYS HE JUST HELPED SOMEBODY BUY A PACKAGE OF FLOUR
Steve: GUYS DOES NOBODY JUST CARE THAT THOR JUST DESTROYED AN ENTIRE FLOOR OF THIS PLACE
Natasha: Oooh, a TV?
Bruce: What does flour have to do with anything?
Pepper: WHAT IS EVEN HAPPENING RIGHT NOW
Tony: WHERE DID YOU COME FROM
Maria: MY PHONE IS EXPLODING
Clint: WE'RE UNDER ATTACK
Steve: NOBODY CARES IF MY BOYFRIEND IS HELPING SOMEBODY BUY A PACKAGE OF FLOUR THAT'S HIS JOB
Pepper: Wait what
Maria: Tell me I'm not the only confused person here.
Steve: GO BACK TO YOUR JOBS
Thor: I SINCERELY APOLOGIZE FOR DESTROYING SEVERAL FLOORS
Natasha: STEVE THIS IS YOUR FAULT
Steve: MY fault?!
Bruce: Why is Thor screaming... again...
Clint: I think that he broke the ceiling and fell into Fury's office...
Tony: Oh no.
Steve: IS IT POSSIBLE TO MOVE TO THE MOON
Fury: YOU ARE ALL GROUNDED YOU LITTLE [ CENSORED ]
Tony: Wait what
-Fury has closed the chat-
I just really love it when these just descend into confusion and panic. It's so fun.
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Avengers Texts
FanfictionSteve the Frisbee Grandpa, Tony the Internet Troll, Mom Natasha, Caps Lock Army Thor, and much more Here is yet another Avengers Texts, so you can find out how completely irresponsible they all are in their spare time. (I wrote this so long ago an...