tour // j.j

thirteen

Gilinsky immediately started behind him. We all followed as everyone hurried to the crowded street. Gilinsky stopped suddenly and we all followed. In the distance Johnson was talking to Madison. I tried to not care, but it did hurt that he actually cared about her. After he was done speaking to her, she covered her mouth, whipped around, and sped off in a taxi. Johnson looked as if he was smiling as he walked back towards us. He covered his grin. No one noticed it.
"What happened?" Mahogany said.
"Well I called off our relationship," he took a quick glance towards me, "So she was just surprised." Everyone bought that story, but I didn't at all.

I decided to keep it to myself because I didn't want to ruin this great moment. Apparently other people didn't think so because Mahogany went over to Rachel and started complaining. I was confused and surprised. Didn't people want her to leave? Especially Mahogany? Rachel shook her head and said we were losing fans when Madison showed her attitude throughout the tour.

Mahogany looked disappointed and gave me a look. Did she really want me to leave in replace of Madison? I looked away and felt really guilty. I never really included Mahogany since Emily came, but I still don't understand why Mahogany would still want back Madison.

Rachel looked at her watch and hurried us into the bus. "We have to get going guys!" We all scrambled in. I did my makeup and got all of my things organized.

I looked outside of the bus window and my heart started to ache. I saw a group of girls holding "Imadginer" signs. I was sad because they came all this way to meet her but won't get a chance to. They chanted "Madison" as I closed the curtains. Even though I hated Madison, I doubt she ever under appreciated or hated her fans to say the least. Behind her complicated personality, she still has a heart, as so everyone has for their supporters.

I moved towards the opposite windows and shut the curtains. Mahogany came up next to me. "It hurts doesn't it? Seeing Madison's fans after her leaving?" I turned to her and said nothing. "Yeah it hurts for me too," She sighed and walked away.
Emily approached me slowly. "What happened to her? She was so nice and happy when I first came here. I feel like a dark cloud has been placed above her." I thought of Madison and then of me. I totally treated Mahogany like she was invisible. "Yeah there is one, and I formed it," I mumbled.

It came time to leave the tour bus, and greet all the fans from San Antonio. As I got out of the bus, fans followed us with their eyes. As the bus door closed behind me seeing I was the last one, I glanced at the Imadginers. They started to whisper at each other, confused. I tried looking forward as I heard the sniffles and sobs. "WHERE'S MAD?!" A fan said while crying.

I looked at her as her mascara ran. Mahogany, Johnson, Matt and I stopped in our tracks. Rachel noticed and beckoned us to follow. We obeyed.

Another fan with furrowed eyebrows called out. "DID YOU DO THIS?!" She pointed her finger at me, and I shook my head in fear. She shook her head in disbelief, "Yes you did."
I guess we weren't handling the situation well because she started to climb over the four foot barricade. People started to follow in her steps, some Imadginers, some just looking for some action. Rachel shooed us to go faster while the security tried to hold them back. The fan called after me, "Madison was my only hope! My only hope-" before she broke into sobs.

I hurried myself into the building and started to cry. I felt so guilty. I didn't know this would happen. I felt so stupid. I sat with my back against the wall.

Johnson noticed me and started to walk over; Gilinsky beat him to it. He rolled his eyes and walked away.
"Hey, you alright Serena?"
I shook my head "No."
He sat down next to me. "Ignore them. They didn't know her like you did."
I still felt bad and I knew this feeling wouldn't go away anytime soon.

<><><>

We were all lined up, ready for the meet & greet in 10 minutes. Rachel said the girls from earlier had left. I knew Rachel didn't care much about their presence because tickets were non-refundable, which means they didn't get their money back when they left. So as long as she was getting some profit..

But I felt angry. Angry at Rachel for not caring. Angry at myself. Just angry in general. I clenched my fists. I knew this wasn't an option, and that I should calm down. How could I though? I had taken away someone's idol, someone's inspiration. I can't feel good about this. This isn't what I love to do. I love to make people happy, and for some reason sadness is the only thing that's formed on this tour.

Fans started to approach through the ropes. One by one they met each of us, but I was completely zoned out. Yeah I would smile, pose, talk, but it was fake. Everything was fake. I don't feel the same. I feel weighted, like I can't move, like I'm controlled. I looked around at the crowd, did it seem to be getting smaller?. Wait, is that Madison in the corner? I can't breathe.

<><><>

I woke up and noticed I was laying in a bed. Startled, I sat up. Emily was standing near the doorway. She noticed me and walked over. "Hey! Do you feel okay?"
My head banged like crazy, but I replied, "I'm fine."
I looked around and noticed I was in a room with equipment.
"Where am I, and what happened?"
"Yo we were all freaked out. Once you were standing taking a picture with a fan, next minute you were out." A few fans screamed but we got it under control. We took you to a medical room," She gestured her hands to show me the room I was in. "Thankfully you woke up. The guys and Mahogany were worried about you. They weren't allowed to check up on you. You know, Rachel."
I just leaned back and laid back down.
"We have to get out of this venue as fast as we can because we only have it rented for the time of the tour. Are you okay to go back to the bus?"
I stared at the floor. "Can you give me a minute?"
"Yeah no problem." She left.
As soon as the door closed my eyes watered. It felt as if my mind was slowly being overtaken by the thoughts and emotions going through my brain. I couldn't control it. Instead, I let the drops fall onto the carpet, one by one.

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wow this and I honestly suck. Lol I'm so sorry, I've had so much going on and I don't deserve you guys. Thank you so much❤️❤️ I definitely am going to make sure I update more ily best friends!!!