tour // j.j

fourteen

I watched the roads whip past me as I stared outside the window of the bus. Everyone kept quiet after the incident and the only one trying to make small talk was Gilinsky. Even as he attempted, I couldn't bring myself to say one thing. I felt like I was overcome by a dark, gray cloud. I guess everyone felt guilty of Madison leaving, even if she was horrible. I just sat on my bunk with my headphones plugged in. I turned the volume all the way up.

I felt a tap on my shoulder. I unplugged one of my ears and turned to see Johnson.
"Hey, sorry I tried saying your name but," he gestured to the earphones.
I had a huge crush on him but I wasn't feeling so well, so my frown stayed on my face.
"Yeah, sorry."
"Can I sit here?" He patted the space next to me.
I nodded my head.
He sat down and looked at me as I resumed my earlier action of looking outside of the window.
"Everyone hates seeing you sad. If you want, we could try asking Rachel to stop the bus and maybe we could go to Lazer tag or Taco Bell?"
I appreciated his consideration but I couldn't budge.
"No thanks."
I glanced at him and he gave a small smile of understanding.
I expected him to go away but from the corner of my eye he was still sitting there staring.
Five minutes passed and still he was sitting there, looking at me. I finally turned to him.
"What?"
"I'm sorry you saw me and Madison that night."
"I don't know what you're talking about."
"It's okay Serena. I do know."
I looked back outside of the window.
"I didn't actually like her,"
I waited for seconds, maybe even a minute.
"Okay."
We then retreated back to our previous state of silence.

<><><>

After awhile Johnson left, saying a quick "Feel better." I just concentrated on the raindrops racing on my window.
As soon as one Jack left, the other came. He sat on my bunk.
"Hey."
"I'm sorry, I actually wanted to go to sleep so if you don't mind," I say getting my pillow and blankets ready.
Gilinsky didn't budge. Instead he said,
"I thought you hated Madison."
I sighed while reaching for my pillow.
"I did but I feel bad now. I took her away from her fans, and that's not helpful to anyone."
He put a hand on mine.
"Serena. You can't blame yourself for this. Trust me." He looked away.
I scrunched my eyebrows. What?
I looked suspiciously at Gilinsky. He couldn't make eye contact with me.
"Jack.. What is it.?"
He put a hand on his neck and sighed.
"I care a lot about you Serena, you know that right?"
"Of course," I replied, hesitant.
"I thought I could help out."
He paused.
"I told Rachel that if Madison stays, I go."
I parted my mouth in shock.
"She didn't want to lose me so she agreed to the deal."
I looked down at my hands.
"I'm sorry Serena."

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LOL haven't seen this story in awhile. idrk what's happening. it was even a struggle to write this really SMALL chapter. sorry guys :/ hopefully I'm able to finish this book..