tour // j.j

fifteen

don't pay attention to the weird af picture but haha

After what Gilinsky confessed, I was really confused and didn't know how to feel. He left my bunk, and I just sat there thinking about what he did for me. After so many tries to keep Jack as just a friend, he still has feelings for me. I have no idea what to do. My mind feels like a mess.

I looked outside my window and started to see mountains. I guess we reached Tennessee. My heart wasn't in it for meet and greets, but I love my fans and I have to do it for them. I took some clothes from my suitcase and got ready.

As soon as we parked, everyone got down and wished Emily a safe trip. She decided to visit family in Tennessee. I couldn't blame her. If I was her I would've tried to get out of this drama too.
"Bye Emily. Thanks for being such a great friend." I probably would've started crying because after she left I would have no one. I held in the tears.
"Thanks Serena. Love you, stay strong." She got in her Uber and drove away,
waving goodbye.
<><><>

We reached the venue and everyone was ready. The other members were pretty scared to talk to me. I felt so self-conscious. I put on a brave face and exited the bus.

I expected a bunch of "BOO YOU SUCK!"s but there seemed to be none. Instead I saw a huge poster that said "We love you Serena!" A group of girls were chanting my name. My heart fluttered! I couldn't believe they made it. It was a bunch of pictures of me in my YouTube videos. I started laughing.

Rachel didn't mind as I headed over there and talked to them. One girl cried as I talked to her about how the ride was to the meet and greet. I love my fans so much. This was just what I needed. I hugged them and took some pictures. Then I headed into the building. Thousands of fans were lined up for the m&g and I was excited! It was a breath of fresh air to see a part of my supporters in a friendly group. Even though the Madison thought kept coming back to me, a view of my friends overtook it. Gilinsky rubbed my shoulder. I pushed him off. He looked away.
I still wasn't sure what to think about his actions. It made me pretty mad.

"Sorry, but I think we should keep our distance."
He didn't look surprised. He just sighed and walked to his spot.

The fans came flooding one by one. I struggled by an overwhelming cluster of them. It was really fun though. They were so nice, and they gave me such cool gifts. No Imadginators came today, thank goodness. I was just glad to be in an environment that had so much care. After awhile, Matt, Mahogany, Sammy and I took a break while Jack and Jack preformed.

There was some silence. It was awkward but Matt broke it up.
"Y'all I need my crackers." He said in an obnoxious country accent. We all laughed because we were starving too. Rachel said we couldn't eat until after the m&g so here we were. Sammy asked Matt if he wanted to go see if they could "hack" the vending machines. They left leaving Mahogany and I alone.
She was the first one to speak.
"Jack's kind of cute huh?" She said watching Jack&Jack's performance.
"Which one?" I responded.
She looked back at me.
"Well they're both cute but I think Johnson is cuter. What type of girls is he looking for?"
My stomach churned but I couldn't blame her. I haven't even tried to go after him myself.
"Yeah, he's cute. You guys would be a good couple," I said, holding in my distaste.
She smiled a fake smile and walked over to Matt and Sam.
I closed my eyes and took a breath. I heard fans scream as Johnson exclaimed a "Thanks everyone. Bless!"

I don't really know if i deserved that or not. I don't know what I did to hurt Mahogany that much. He ran over dripping with sweat.
"Hey Serena, enjoyed the show?"
"Uh, er well-" I laughed exasperatingly.
Before I could reply, he winked and jogged over to the vending machine.
Ok, cool i'm such a loser.
Gilinsky was looking at me, but he quickly looked away. He is really attractive, that I'm not going to lie. I just didn't understand why he would do that to Madison. Taking someone away from their fans is excruciating and hurts me so much.
He ran over to the vending machine. Matt and Sammy came back, packeted snacks spilling out of the pile in their arms. Matt's cheeks were puffed. I thought he had already started eating some of the snacks but he opened his mouth revealing the food with their plastic wrap still on it, covered and drool. They spilled out of his mouth and he let out a "Washnt shome?" He slurped up his spit.
"Yeah sure," I said.
He reached down to pick up the twinkies that just fell out of his mouth.
"UH HELL NO," I said my face scrunched up in disgust and entertainment.
He laughed and Sammy did as well.
Johnson and Gilinsky came back with their share of the vending machine snacks. We laughed and snacked together. Mahogany was closing off on stage and we were going to go out there with her in a couple of minutes, but I just wanted to enjoy the break time I was having right now with the closest thing to friends I have.
After we were finished, we put all the trash in the trash bins and started heading to the stage. Johnson and I were the last ones.
"Here," He tossed me a super-size almond joy.
I caught it as he ran to Matt.
How did he know I liked them?
That one small action gave me so much hope and understanding that he really did notice and care about me.
I jogged onto the stage hooking my arm around Sammy. I stared at the screaming crowd of fans.
"Goodnight Knoxville!" We exclaimed together.
I know we've had ups and downs, but these people were starting to feel like my family.

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Happy New Year babes 😭😭 Im so mad at myself for not updating sooner but you guys are really cool for sticking with me so thank you ❤❤❤ I love you all and hope you enjoy this chapter! 💓💞