Speechless (Muke)

DAY 16:

Words For Mikey: Day 16

Benumb: to make numb; deprive of sensation or to render inactive; deaden or stupefy

Without you I will be benumbed. The others wish to benumb me.

Without you I will be benumbed. The others wish to benumb me.

Without you I will be benumbed. The others wish to benumb me.

Without you I will be benumbed. The others wish to benumb me.

Without you I will be benumbed. The others wish to benumb me.

Without you I will be benumbed. The others wish to benumb me.

Without you I will be benumbed. The others wish to benumb me.

I do not want to be benumbed. I do not want to be without you. I think I'm going insane. I'd rather be insane than without you. Insane, insane, insane. I will be insane. It sounds far better than benumbed to me.

I love you,

Luke

The smoke filled his lungs again and the cigarette dangled from his fingertips. He was trying to write the eulogy for his soon to be dead lover, bending to the wishes of the majority. But Luke was not the one who was good with words, that was Michael, and Michael was the one dying. He didn't want to write about how Michael was a good person because he was far more than that. He didn't want to write about how Michael didn't deserve what happened because everyone knew that. He didn't want to write anything because he didn't want to accept the fact that Michael was going to be dead. And so he stayed sitting on the cold rocks at the water's edge with a cigarette in one hand, a pencil in the other, a notebook on his lap and smoke in his lungs. He hadn't been home last night and he was slowly wasting away another day.

"Where's Luke?" Liz asked for the fourth time that half hour.

"I haven't seen him since he beat up the wall," Calum told her trying to bring humor in to lighten the mood.

Liz shook her head and nobody could tell whether she was scared or angry. After Luke had left the hospital Ashton drew the short straw and had to text him to write a eulogy. Calum, after showing them his letter from the comatose boy, insisted that Luke had to say something at Michael's funeral when it came. Ashton had told Luke via text that they would wait for him at home where they now were.

"Give him time Liz. He really loves Michael," Tatiana spoke softly gently rubbing Liz's shoulder.

"Love or not he's getting it when he gets home," Calum stiffened and looked at a tense Ashton with wide eyes. "Oh yes, boys. Getting it real bad,"

"If I were him I wouldn't come home," Calum muttered. Ashton nodded his agreement and Tatiana watched the exchange in confusion.

"Why? What's she mean by getting it?" Tatiana asked.
Ashton shook his head and muttered a no as Liz left the room.

Luke screamed his throat raw and bloody to the point where he was coughing up blood and choking on it. He screamed for Michael to come back and he screamed at God especially, because he was to blame for all this if nobody else.

"What did I do wrong?!" Luke screamed after heaving blood onto the stones around him. "Why wasn't I enough?! Why would you take someone so perfect and good?! Dammit just why?!" Luke turned his head to the side and found himself on his hands and knees again with blood dribbling out of his mouth as he heaved. The words fell off his bruised tongue without thought but the words written on the page were written in poison and pain and every thought the blonde had.