Journal Entries

2015 in my point of view.

Journal Entry: New Years Journal
Date: January 3,2016
Time started: 7:03 PM

Hello everyone,

Yes, I know. Isn't a little late to write a New Years journal? Well of course it is! But, being the lazy person I am, I'm going to write about my experience from 2015 (in general). So sit back relax...or don't which ever you prefer and enjoy (if you want to continue reading).

So the first question that comes to mind when looking back at the previous year is: What did you think about it? Now from one perspective, I'd say that 2015 was a really cool time of my life and definitely made me open my mind more to the world and kinda acknowledge what I really should or should not do. You know two years ago, I never really payed attention to my environment I never was that interested in contemplating life. I only thought about what's going on in school or my family and sometimes youtubers and that was it. Yes, I did have religious beliefs and I occasionally tried to live up to its teachings but I guess I didn't really have the sense of feeling like "Oh, this is reality and I should've thought differently and made better choices" no, it was never like that.

But then, 2015 rolled in and I was opened up to a world with new possibilities and viewpoints of other individuals and definitely the year I learned the most from my experiences. You know, I was able to get to know my peers better and became closer and closer to them as I grew older within each day. However, that doesn't mean that I had an awesome 2015. There were definitely days where I was lost and didn't know what to do, there were times when I felt like no one was really there for me and there were times when I didn't really know how to express myself. I was usually not the best when it comes to being confident even in front of my closest friends. I felt like I was kinda the odd one out, the one left behind and I just had trouble figuring out how I should tell others about this problem. I didn't know how to confront them because I was a shy person and not that social at the same time. So not only was I shy, I was also an introvert. I know it sounds kind of weird to say that but that's just who I am. When I'm at school, sometimes I just want to be by myself and not be surrounded by my friends. But that's not because I don't like them it's just that I want to be able to recharge and to disconnect from the world and just contemplate and think of new ideas. And although when I'm with my friends and I want to socialize but was never sure how to, it was still alright for me. I don't really know how to put it, but I would just say that it was fine for me to feel left out sometimes because that kinda gave me more time to think and was essentially like a semi alone time.

As the days went by in 2015 I learned so many lessons about life. You know, you can't always get what you want and you should be thankful for what you have. And that goes with everything. Whether it be a crush that you have or a new electronic or for a little bit more happiness, it will always stay that way. There will always be something that you can't have. But that's okay. Because while you feel like you can't have something right now, there will always be something for you in the future. So as long as you have hope, there will always be a bright shining future ahead of you. I've had many moments last year where I really needed to maintain hope and trust that my life would get better. But I just never really felt like anything was improving. I've felt depression, I was never able to let go of someone I really liked even though I knew that they didn't feel the same way, I had some family problems, it was hard to figure out who was really my real friends. I just felt so terrible and it was like my whole life was falling apart and I couldn't do anything about it. Like I had this massive weight on me and I could never be free of the chains that held my happiness from getting to me. But soon I realized that if you don't think life would get better, then it won't. You'll just give up and let this torment continue on with no escape. But if you think to yourself that you will have a better future then you will be released from this pain to enjoy what's around you. You won't be completely released though but that's something that can help you mature as you grow within the years. It's something to learn from, something to acknowledge so that you can plan on what to do or not do.

And that's the beauty of life. No matter how negative it feels, there will always be something positive within it. Feeling sad? Talk to a friend! No seems to be liking you at the moment? Do a hobby you like? Feel like nothing is getting better? Take a nap! A little bit of an imaginary world could never hurt. Just find something that makes you happy and be the best you you can be. And if none of this is working for you, just think back to what I said earlier. That there's always something positive in your life. Think about what you are thankful for. Think about what you have that is a blessing because there are so many people out there who may not get to have it too.

I know it may be hard sometimes but just know that you're not the only one. I have been encountering a lot of displeasing things for awhile now. But I still do my best to be happy and live a healthy life. And I know that I couldn't have known any of this without my family, my friends, and all my other loved ones. Sure there were many sad and tragic events from 2015, but it was also a year that made me the better me.

Thank you so much for reading. If you have different opinions about what I said, let me know! (Everyone has their own opinion so don't hate on me if what I said was not right in your eyes) Anyway, have a goodnight, morning, afternoon, whatever time of day it is for you, and I will see you in the next journal. But until then, PEACE