The heart of the joker

Chapter 4

I ran and ran until I found an alleyway. I backed myself against the wall and slid to the floor with my knees to my chest. Ash's voice rang in my head and I sobbed into  my knees not caring about anything or anyone anymore. I miss my parents so much. My phone rang in my pocket, I looked at the screen and it was Ash. I ended the call and wiped my eyes as best as I could. Threw my backwards, hitting the wall and more tears fell out my eyes. Closing my eyes I tried to control my breathing. My ears started to tune back into the world and I heard footsteps . I just shrugged them off, thinking they were going, but when they started to get closer, I snapped my eyes open and looked up,

"Joker?!"I gasped,

"hello doll"he said as he crouched down on his knees to meet my eye level,

"hey..."My voice croaked,

"Why are you crying, doll?"

I sniffed and replied, "it doesn't matter"

The Joker lifted his hand up and placed it on my cheek, gently wiping away some of the tears and make up that  had smeared across my face, 

"it does matter sweetheart"His voice full of promise,

"just me and my flatmate got into an argument and spoke before she thought about what she was saying..."

"oh, I'm sorry about...um..Ash was it?"

I quickly lifted my head to look at him, my eyes wide.

"you remembered?"

"yeah..."he said, I smiled at him,

"I don't know what I'm going to do..."I sighed, 

"what do you mean?"Joker asked, raising an eyebrow,

"I can't go back to work after what happened...I guess I'll go home"

"will you be okay?"

"yeah I'll be fine..."

"okay"He replied hesitantly,

As he stood up he held his hands out to me. This time I took them confidently and he pulled me up . Looking at him I smiled sweetly. He gave a small one back,

"thank you"

"no problem, could I ask what happened?"

"Do you mean what Ash said?"

"yeah, but you don't have to"Joker reassured, with a hand on my shoulder,

"no, its fine..I lost my parents when I was 16 in a crash with another car...and I said to Ash during our break after a mini fight that I was going outside for air and she told me to be careful",  I took a break to blink the tears away, "I said she doesn't need to mother me all the time and without thinking she said well someone has to nowadays..."I looked down and a tear slipped out and hit the floor.

Jack placed a gentle finger under my chin and lifted my head up gently to look at him. Hot tears fell out my eyes unwillingly. Looking into his eyes I noticed that they were a beautiful honey colour. He placed both of his hands on the sides of my face and wiped the tears away,

"Don't cry, doll, I'm sorry about your parents, what Ash said wasn't right but I'm sure she didn't mean it, when she gets home tonight talk to her about it..."

"thank you Jack...for everything..."

"its fine doll"he smiled,

Pushing his hands down I wrapped my arms around his waist and hugged him, what the hell am I doing? Why am I hugging him? It took him a few seconds but he quickly returned the hug. After a few more seconds I pulled away and sniffed the rest of the tears away. I wanted to feel his arms around me once more but I stepped back before I could make another stupid mistake,

"I better get going"I say,

"alright, see you later doll"

I nod, turning around and walking away. Turning back just once to see him still looking at me but then a angry look washed over his face and he swiftly turned and stomped away. Shrugging I turned away and carried on my way to the flat. Once I got there I went straight to my room and changed into my black vest top and grey jogging bottoms. Chucking my clothes into the wash basket I stuffed my hat into my draw. Slowly I removed all my make up, which had streaked down my face. Angry at myself I shoved my hair up messily into a pony tail. All my jewelry came off and I put my coat and shoes away. Putting my phone on charge, I sat on my bed with my head in my hands. what am I supposed to say to her? Looking up I saw the photo album that contained pictures of me and my parents. Slowly I stood up and grabbed it, walking out my room and into the living room, sitting down on the sofa. Opening it up I looked at the photos of me and my parents as I grew up, I started tearing up again looking at the photos, the memories flashing through my head. Gripping the book tight in my hands the tears fell down my face. Tucking my legs up I held the book and sobbed. I cried until I fell. I woke up to the door slamming, Groaning I wiped my eyes but didn't open them,

"Ryder?! Ryder I-...oh..I'm so sorry..."Ash panicked,

As I sat up she came and sat down next to me. She said nothing, just wrapped her arms around me. I didn't resist but all I could think of was how much better Jack's hug was. She pulled away but held my hands,

"Ryder I'm so sorry...i should of thought about what i was saying..i was so stupid.."

"Its okay...I forgive you..."

"you really shouldn't..I don't deserve it"She sniffed, 

"please Ash, it doesn't matter anymore. I know you didn't mean it..."

Ash looked down and I saw the tears in her eyes. As I hugged her again she started crying. I rubbed a hand on her back and she calmed down,

"Ash I want to explain why I've been acting how I have..."

"you don't have to..."

"I do, you're my best friend. Just promise me you wont freak out?"

"I promise..."She chuckled

I smiled at her and moved the album onto the coffee table.

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hey guys! yes i know this one is a bit sorter but it had to be as i re-did it 3 times as i wasn't happy with it, im still not. im going through something at the minute but ill try my best to update soon, and please while your waiting check out my others, thanks!

thank you for reading hope your enjoying