The Struggle Is Real

People Change

Previously on The Struggle is Real

~~~~ Phone Conversation ~~~~
T: Hello?
??: Tatyonia is that you?
T: Who is this?
_______________________________________________________________________

Tatyonia P.O.V
When I said,"Who is this?", I yelled a little causing everyone to stop playing and look my way.

August: Who you talking to?
Tatyonia: I don't know.
Tyga: Baby Girl, put 'em on speaker phone.

I did as told and put the person over the phone on speaker phone. Everyone stayed quiet to make it seem like we were the only people talking.

??: It's your dad.
T: Why would I want to talk to a bitch ass nigga? And what you want?
Dad: I'm sorry for everything, but do me a favor and meet me at the park on east side at 4:00.
T: Maybe I'll show up. Maybe I won't. Just like you did, right?

I then hung up. Like I said before. The law gave my dad custody of me since my mom passed away and he got on drugs. He went through rehab and received visitation days since I had to stay with my aunt. I would tell him different school events going on because he told me nothing would change and I believed him. He told me he would make it to all my performances, but he was a no show. That cut me so deep. He started calling me less and less everyday until eventually it just stopped. I was crushed, but I thought I could just run away from the problem and never have to face him or his problems again.

Tootie: Girl, what you gon' do?
Tatyonia: I don't know. What should I do?
Stephen: Go, talk to him. He's probably tryna man up and be a great father, but you'll never know if you don't give him a try.
Tatyonia: I don't know. I just need some alone time right now.

I went to my room and just started thinking. I started thinking about the nights when I use to cry because I didn't have any parents or real family for the matter. My dad use to be my backbone, but the drugs turned him into something he wasn't, and it really hurt me. I got so mad that I got up and pushed everything that was on my vanity table on the floor. Minutes later I realized what I did and picked everything up. As I picked it up, I found the CD that August gave me as a Christmas present yesterday. I picked it up and it had the name of the song written on it. "Testify" I decided to play it because I need to get my mind off of things. At the beginning he said a couple words about me at the beginning.

"Tatyonia, I know we just met, but it's like I can talk to you about anything. You're understanding, beautiful, and hard working. I know you've been through a lot in life, and I have too. Chris, Stephen, Mary, and Tootie don't know about my life of struggle because they might judge me or look at me different, but I know you won't."

Before I started listening to the song, I started thinking about how lots of people have gone through struggles. You can't judge by its cover because you might just miss out on the inner beauty. Stephen has definitely taught me that lesson.

I remember wakin' up, bein' broke,
But still it wasn't breakin' us,
I remember why I broke the rules,
'Cause I ain't really have nobody to look up to

I remember cuttin' class, bein' bad,
'Cause I ain't have what them other kids had,
I remember wishin' that I knew my dad,
Then I remember wishin' that I could get him back,

For every single night that he told me he was coming and he didn't,
For every single dollar that my momma 'nem was missin',
For every thing I wanted and was told I couldn't get it,
And that I had to face it that my daddy was addicted (Damn)