Defiance (Kylo Ren Fanfiction)

Chapter Seven

A/N: I watched the entire first season of Girls, and I still do not know how I feel about it. Anyways, enjoy.

My thoughts have become intoxicating. Every thing reminds me of him. The darkness of the sky reminds me of his soft black curls. The red curtains resembling the radiance from his deathly saber. And what hurts the most, is the aching wounds that scatter my body from the abuse.

I rarely left my bed, only to use the bathroom, eat something, or to change my bandages. On top of all of that, Kylo has had no contact with me what so ever. The room begins to grow cold, and I start to think. Maybe I'll just rot in here? Be left to die... Alone. You're crazy. A voice laughs. Please get out of my head. I miss you. Who are you? It's not important... Tell me. No, I've already hurt you so much. Please, tell me who you are. Close your eyes. Why? Just do it. I obey and close my eyes. I hear the door slide up, and soft footsteps coming closer. Open. When I look up, I see Kylo standing beside me, a bouquet of red roses in his hand. I look at him speechless.

"Can we talk?" He whispers, his voice shaking, a blush creeping up his cheeks.

"Uh, yeah sure." I nod, sitting up, scrunching my eyes in pain. I huff in annoyance. I feel the bed sink beside me, Kylo sitting down.

"Look, Krista, I'm sorry. You're my first... Um, f-friend here. And I really do care for you." He stutters.

"Kylo," I whisper, holding onto his hand, "we-I can't do this."

He looks at me, confusion sparking in his dark brown eyes, "What do you mean?"

I frown,"You know what I mean. I'm good, you're bad. I care for you too. But I can't handle all of this. The darkness, the abuse, the constant fear. I can't sleep because I'm always thinking I won't wake back up."

"Don't say that."

"It's true Kylo, we both know it."

"No!" He yells, standing up, walking away from me. "I can teach you! We can rule together, we'll be unstoppable!"

"Kylo! You're not understanding! I don't want to be apart of the dark side! I want to go home! I don't want to be here anymore!" I scream, pulling my head down to my knees. I wrap my hands around my ears.

"Krista, I can't lose you." He spoke.

"You don't need me," I cry. "I'm weak, you've said it yourself. I can't kill! I'm a lover, not a fighter."

"Krista," he pleads, "let me show you."

"Even if I do stay Kylo, I'll mess up someway somehow! And we know what happens when I mess up!" I lift my arms up, showing him the purple and blue bruises that line up and down my skin.

I watch as he walks over, grazing his gloved hand over the bruises. He squints his eyes and looks away, "You're right."

"What?"

"You heard me. I should have never done this!" He yells.

"Done what?" I ask.

"Start caring about you!" He screams, taking me by surprise, "I shouldn't have taken you that day. You're not mine, and you never will be. I'm crazy."

"Kylo," I bite my lip, "You're not crazy..."

"I am!" He laughs hysterically, "Crazy about you! I'm such a fool!"

I look at him, my mouth hanging low. He really feels that way about me? I do. I look at him, locking my eyes on his. Time freezes and the only thing running through my mind is him. I take him all in at once. His plump pink lips, his soft, matted curls. His straight posture, his same black outfit, the same cute angle his feet hold. Everything about him was intriguing and so beautiful. I was so infatuated with him that I didn't even realize how close I was to him. His lips inches from mine. I never would have thought death would be so attractive, oh god was I so so wrong.