Duet

The Kids Aren't Alright (songfic by icouldwriteabook)

Adrian makes a short speech, sharing embarrassing stories about me and Phil. Primarily me. This earns him a few laughs and a couple of red-faced glares from me. After the applause, he remains holding the microphone.

"Now, Phil, what you don't know is that Dan has been driving himself crazy over the one self-inflicted responsibility he had. That is the music, specifically, this next song. With that, ladies and gents, I think it's time for the couple's first dance."

Phil takes his hands away from my waist and grabs my hand, leading me to the dance floor. While we pass Ade, I nudge him, stopping walking a minute to tease him. "Nice speech, Ade."

"Thanks."

"Oh and the pretty girl in the corner was totally checking you out."

Adrian blushes.

"It's ok, she's on my side of the family, so you're good." Phil says, ruffling his hair, before hurriedly dragging me to the middle of the dance floor.

The lights go down slightly. "Ooh, atmospheric."

"This was not planned." I say, nibbling my lip. The familiar intro of the song starts up. Phil smirks, "Fall out boy, really Dan?"
I bow and offer my hand dramatically, "M'lady?"
Phil pretends to curtesy, taking my hand, pulling me against him. We rock side to side in time of the music.

I lower my head a little, so my lips are next to my new partner's ear. I whisper the most prominent lyrics in an attempt to be a hopeless romantic. Hopeless, alright.

"And in the end," I whisper, mimicking the song, "I'd do it all again. I think you're my best friend."

Phil looks up at me, eyes locking me stiff. He lurches forward, kissing me. "I love you, Dan."

"I love you too, Phil, but you know that."

"Yeah, I know that."

ONE YEAR LATER - PHIL'S POV

Trigger Warning • Death

"Phil, sweetie, we're going to go. Are you ok on your own?"

"I'm not on my own." I stutter, not even bothering to hold back tears now. People hadn't really talked to me all day. Well they had, but I hadn't talked back.

I keep one hand on the coffin, just over the name plaque. DANIEL JAMES HOWELL-LESTER. I trace the familiar name with my finger, remembering fondly how he insisted on his name coming first.

"I know, honey, I know." My mother gives my shoulder a quick squeeze. I pat her hand half heartedly. Her shoes click their way away from me.

"Oh Dan." I sob. "I've never been good at speeches. Neither have you. But you always told me how you felt. The most beautiful thing was when you sang to me at our wedding."

I wait for a response.

"Do you remember the song, Dan?"

Silence.

"Ok I'll sing it for you. And in the end, I-I'd do it all again." My wells of tears pour onto my suit trousers. I wonder how a song can mean something so different, under different circumstances. "I'd do it all again. I think you're my best friend."

The memories come flooding back. I kiss my hand, and place it back on the coffin. Somewhat ironically, I repeat what we said after he sang to me, the words still unchanged. "I love you, Dan."

...

"Yeah, I know that."

"Daddy?"

I turn. "Hello, gorgeous." I scoop up the six year old in my arms and put her on my lap.

"Why are you crying?" She says, shakily. She didn't attend the funeral. Well not really, she sat outside on the park bench. She wanted it that way. Her baby brother who we adopted not a month ago, is at a babysitters.

"Don't be scared, sweet pea." I say, looking back at my hand over the coffin.

"But I don't understand. You said he was visiting the Angels, why are you sad? They haven't turned him down have they?"

I chuckle, though it morphs into a sob as it travel out of my mouth. "No, darling, I'm sad because," Pull yourself together, Phil, "Because he's not just visiting. He'll be staying with the Angels forever. So I can't see him until I join the Angels too. And that's a long time away, so I'm sad."

Her eyes fill up. "I didn't say goodbye." Well she did, when Dan went for his operation, but I'm sure it wasn't that kind of goodbye. Mine certainly wasn't.

"Then say it now."

She walks up and hugs the box, planting a delicate kiss in the top right corner. She turns to me and hold out her hand. I look at her with a muddled expression. "Cmon Daddy, we said goodbye, and once you've said goodbye, you leave." I take her had, still stationary.

"I'm not sure I want to." I can't break down in front of my daughter. I can't, but I do.

"Me neither." I pick her up, she cries into my shoulder, rocking her. She looks back up at me.
"We're going to get Daddy a gravestone soon ok? Then you can go up there and talk to him whenever you get sick of me, and he'll listen like always." She nods, I start to walk out.

I turn back, muttering, "Please come back, Dan, the kids-our kids- aren't alright."

A/N This absolutely beautiful oneshot was written by my equally amazing friend Icouldwriteabook and she has some phenomenal writing on her account, you should definitely give it a look #cheekyspon