Thug Life is the Life To live

Life is NEVER perfect

LALA POV

"Hey Jayla"

I was fucking speechless. OH.MY.GOD.

Quay came to see me? The same nigga that threw me out his house? The same nigga that called me a hoe? The same nigga that put the icing on the cake for all the problems that i already had in my life?

Yup its the SAME nigga!

Is he really standing here about to conversate with me or some shit? Like i was really lost for words. I had so many emotions going through my mind right now. In a way i hated him! But then again in a way i kinda felt bad for putting all the blame on him in my suicide note. Then again i had feelings for him. I know i probably sound crazy but he was my first, and even though it was just a one night stand to him.. It was special to me. Is that bad? Is it bad that the same nigga that made me wana kill myself is right here in front me and im having feelings for him. I felt tears building in my eyes. I was literally that speechless. My heart started beating about ten times faster and i was nervous as fuck. Im not even gon lie!

I was trying not to let the tears fall but i couldn't help it. Here we go again

FUCK.MY.LIFE!

QUAY POV

So me and jayla been starring at each other a good 5 minutes. I was nervous as hell and shaking like crazy. It didnt help me when she started crying. FUCK! I thought to myself. I didnt know what to do. I was hesitant but i walked over and sat in the chair next to her. I got a tissue off the little night stand she had next to her bed and wiped her tears. REMIND YOU.. Im still nervous af and shaking like crazy! I managed to look deep into her eyes

Jayla please dont cry... Pl-please. I

a-am s-so s-sorry.

LALA POV

OH.MY.GOD again!!

The same nigga that threw me out his house 2 weeks ago was looking deep into my eyes and telling me not to cry. It was sweet and all but to be honest it only made me cry more.

I tried so hard to stop the tears from coming but i just couldn't. Quay grabbed my hand and just held it. He held it so tight.

Another 10 minutes went by and it was beyond awkward. I could tell he was nervous because he was biting his lip and shaking like crazy. I felt it was time to break the silence between us so i spoke up.

Quay.. I honestly dont even know what to say bu-

He cut me right off. "Quayla why would you try to kill yourself over me, im just some nigga you met and fucked. Its not a big deal! Plenty of girls sleep with guys unexpectedly. I know i was wrong for throwing you out and shit but damn like i was fucking mad. Never would i have thought you would go and try to kill yourself!!"

I could hear the anxiousness and somewhat anger in his voice. For a moment i was speechless again but the something else came over me and i was like FUCK THAT. I sat up in my bed and looked him deep into his eyes.

QUAY let me tell ya wana-be-thug crazy ass something. You have no fucking idea what i been through! I lost my fucking mom at the age of 6! 6 years old Quay! All i had was a father in my life. Ever since i was 6 i been taking care of my little sisters. I never get a fucking break. Ive never been able to be a normal little kid. Even when my mother was alive i only have memories of being with her in the hospital! I was 8 years old when my father made me take on half of the responsibilities. Cooking and cleaning. Raising 2 babies. My life was a living hell growing up.. Shit it still is. When i was 10 years old my own father made me give 2 of his friends head for 50 dollars each. I didnt complain because i knew we needed the money. But what father sells his own daughter to his friends. All my life I've felt worthless. Like i was a no good piece of shit. Like i had no purpose on this earth. So for you to sit here and judge me like that is fucking bullshit! I just wanted to get away from everything. I just wanted to be with my mom again. I knew if she was here everything would of been okay but shes not here. Why did she have to go Quay? Why did she have to fucking leave me?