The Doctor & Me

Part 10

Sleep abandoned Ifkar with a swift goodbye. That night he stared at the ceiling for 40 minutes thinking about what Diana said before sleep pick him up again.

"I am not embarassed. We are already married. Tapi I have someone I don't want to hurt."

Ifkar was perplexed. Someone she doesn't want to hurt. She understood his appeal for elaboration so she continued. "Before you came back, I met someone."

I met someone. Those words echoes in Ifkar's mind. She met someone. She couldn't possibly love him right ? The questions were unanswered in his mind. He kept trying to convince himself that he has nothing to worry but as Diana goes on, his confidence fades.

"Well, he is a very nice guy. And I enjoy his company." Diana keep on talking about that guy Ifkar knew nothing about and has no interest to except that that guy should not meddle in their marriage.

"And..." her words trail to almost a halt before she spit out the shocking details. Ifkar's attention diverted back waiting to hear what Diana seems reluctant to say.

"I accepted his proposal once too."

Oh...

His heart escaped a beat. His chest expanded that in his mind he is already exploding brighter than a star. He went blank. But his grips on her arms never waver. Just as his faith in their feelings. That they are mutual. And Diana loves him too.

Diana feels her arms were being gripped a little bit stronger than before. Well it could be shocking she understood. Nobody else knows about that propose unpropose that happened between her and Amir.

Ifkar after being the listener for what felt like an eternity finally said something. "Do you love him ?"

"What ? Noo." Diana denied instantly.

"Okay why don't we two sit down and talk over hot choc ? Is that okay ? Cause I'm thirsty alright. That's why I came out."

Ifkar let her go. Diana walk away to the dry kitchen and start making two cups of hot choc. Because she misses late night talk with her girlfriends. And now that she's married, talking to Encik Suami will have to do.

She came to sit next to Ifkar. She brace herself to talk to him. She still resent him for the past. But she can't deny she love that man. His lonely back from behind that she saw, she does not want this man to feel lonely or in pain.

"There you go. Your drink."

She handed him that warm cup of brown liquid which would taste out of world if only she has marsmallow to top it with. Shame their grocery list have no marshmallow in it. Diana made a mental note to include it next time they go grocery shopping.

"You never told me about this guy." He said, gently.

"Well I don't talk to you for a long period, remember? Well okay abou-"

"Is this the guy I saw at Tira and Hakim's wedding ?", Ifkar asked.

"You saw us ?", Diana can't help but to feel a bit excited. Now that Ifkar know the guy, she felt easier to talk about him.

"Yes and actually you told me about him before." Ifkar was not too enthusiastic.

"I told you ?" Diana can't remem- "Oh yeah I told you once. I totally forgot about it." Diana laughed at her own silly forgetful brain.

"Yeah you told me you accepted someone's proposal. I thought you were bluffing." Ifkar admitted honestly. "Who's that guy anyway ?"

"He was my senior from medschool. We lost contact after uni until one day Mama nak kenalkan I dekat anak kawan dia. Rupanya it's him. Kelakar kan ?" Ifkar watches as Diana lights up at talking. He misses this. At indulging in her happiness in their own bubble. He smiled as her hand gestures becoming more fascinating to watch.

But he can feel his heart tearing up inside at the thought if this woman in front of him being snatched away. He remember the person he saw with her last year. Quite a looker. "So where he is now ?"

He asked anyway eventhough he was afraid at the answer. If they are still friends, Diana might fall for that guy will she not ?

"Guess what ? Dia baru transfer to my hospital okay. Gila kan ?" Diana laughed at the unfathomable fact. Fate keep intertwining their path. "I tahu pun masa last two weeks kot. I tengah tunggu lif pastu tiba tiba I pusing sebelah I saw him terus I go 'eh Amir' ' macam tu."

Great, Ifkar thougts to himself. A guy like that. Having history with my wife. Showing up at her hospital. Seeing her daily probably. He clenched his teeth. Trying hard not to show her that he's afraid or maybe angry. That he felt threatened. That maybe Dr Amir will take her away.

"You cakap dia pernah propose you. Was it true ? What happened ?" He was expecting a glum reply. Perhaps they fought or something bad happened. But he was startled to actually see Diana laughing at his inquiries.

"Well how do I say it eh." Diana scratches her itchy cheeks. "Masa tu I was kind of happy to have him with me. He's good company. I guess I was caught in the moment kot. I guess we both were."

"Pastu after some time, dia dapat tahu pasal his ex-girlfriend and I dapat tahu you contact my dad. Then we both took a step back and figure that it was not meant to be."

He watches as her lips form a smile at the end of the sentences. And how she played with her hands when she's at her max capability to put words nicely. Diana was always careful when it comes about saying something.

"Tapi kann.. I baru dapat tahu his girlfriend tu dah meninggal. Gastric cancer kalau tak silap. I feel so bad for him." Ifkar hold her hands. Wanting to tell her he's sorry too.

"I figure you should know. I'm seeing him at my work. I feel sorry to him. And I don't want to keep secrets from you." She said as she sips her drink.

"Yeah. Thank you for letting me know." Ifkar smiled. His heart still worried. That there might be residual feelings between his wife and Dr Amir. But deciding things could wait. He called it a night.

"I'm going to get some sleep. Tomorrow I have morning shift." Diana gathers the cups and leave it in the sink.

"Yeah, goodnight." Ifkar gave her a peck on her forehead before they both went to sleep. This time, he is glad they sleep separately. He won't want to know that the smile she has plastered on her face is either because of him or that Dr Amir.

Authors note:

I feel something is inadequate. I forgot that even though I know Ifkar, you guys don't. You can't love someone you don't know. I need to introduce more about Ifkar so that more people can love him too. I'll try to be a good lover. Till then.

Your silly writer
Aina