I miss You

chapter 18

Dr. Hunter office

Diane (Monday evening)
I couldn't focus today in school. Now I'm at this appointment with Dr. Hunter, honestly she make me feel some type way with her looks. I look around her office and I see a pic of a beautiful baby girl. Like her mini me. I look around I see all kinds of awards, I feel uncomfortable here. I wanna go home. I get on wattpad and read my updates for "boyz to men" good book. To Kira and Ant is the bestie. Oh my bad look up NewMommy014 her books are bomb. I was so into the book I didn't hear this lady. Interrupting my flow and shit.

"Diane, are you going to answer me? "
"hug? My bad. What have say? "

Yep she getting the ride cuz I don't want to be here.

"I asked why are you here"

Is she serious right now. Like I know she got something cuz I saw my mom writing stuff down. She better hurt up cuz I just got a notification that "cabin in the woods " has a new update.

"my mama, brought me"
"and why do you think she brought you? "
"I don't know"

She looks at me with caring eyes. But I don't trust them. I trust no one but the guys. I want to talk to her but she will think I'm crazy. I can't have that.

"so you tried to kill yourself, is that correct? "

See I told y'all. She think I'm dumb. HA!

"you know everything why you asking me?
"lol girl, get your attitude together Playa. I'm here to help not judge. Now you can talk to me or not I still get paid"

I just looked at her. WTF, no she didn't get smart. She wanna talk shut so it's text the crew. This shit is boring.

loveofmylife- Sea, I wanna go home"
shebaeallday- Dee, stop texting and talk to the lady"
loveofmylife- Seeeeeeeeeeea! "
shebaeallday- Deeeeeeeeeeeee! "
loveofmylife- fuck you"
shebaeallday- when ? "
loveofmylife- you are such an ass"
shebaeallday- love you too babe, bye"
loveofmylife- love you bye"
(text over)

"Diane, have you ever been abused"
"yeah my brother beats my assignment (shrugs shoulders) "
"and you feel that's OK? "
"it's whatever "
"has he ever touched you? Anyone for that matter? "

I tensed but quickly recovered, I think she caught it too because she gave the look I don't like the look of pity. I feel weak. I'm broken. I should have just shallows the pills even with them breaking the door. I'm such shit I couldn't even kill myself right.

"nope"

She's knows I'm lying. I see it in her eyes but she's not pushing it. She gets up and comes back with my mom. Hopefully she doesn't eat me out please. She wants me to trust her she gotta stfu.

"Mrs Anderson I want to see her here for group twice a week. She's closed off. I think if she's around others she may open up. "
"oh god it's horrible mama"

That hurt, the tears fall she doesn't understand it's not her. But I can't have her hate her favorite. I can't break up my family that's already broken. I can't be the one to do it. I suffer in silence.

"ma, you great. It's not your fault. Please believe me"

She hugs me its what I needed right then. Felt safe in her arms she's my mama. She's works hard so I can live.

We headed home I was mad at Morsea so I text Nelson..

Hecangetit- boyfriend!!"
My heart- yes girlfriend
Hecangetit- meet me at the park.
My heart- crew or no?
Hecangetit- no..
My heart- #sighs OK see you in 20.
(text end)

Morsea
I know she mad but she gotta talk to someone. Hell it's deeper than me I'm not mad. Well maybe because we talk about everything, but then again maybe not. Can called me, yeah I know what you saying. We been chit chatting Tryna see what's up.

"what have do to See? "
"what you mean, ain did shit."
"cuz I'm bout to meet her at the park"
"cool let's go"
"nag, she don't want the crew"

Me and scoop looked at each other. To say it didn't hurt would be a lie. But I know she mad at us. I don't know why. But I'll take it. I'd rather her be mad then me not have her alive. I'll give her till tomorrow. Then it's be all in her face.

"well damn, just let her know I love her"
"big we all know that duuuuhhhh. And we know you haven't cuffed her cuz you a hoe and you ain't tryna hurt her. We know night. Stop acting like drake"

I couldn't do anything but laugh. But what he said was truth though. I love her too much to see her hurt cuz ion know how to grow up yet. I will protect her even if it means from me. You think I'm crazy but I love her enough to know I ain't it yet.

"whatever foo, go check on my wife"
"peace out y'all "

Nelson
Heading to the park. I wonder what's going on with Dee, I've never seen her like this. To hear she was tryna kill herself but Sea(say) and scoop bust the door, that shit hurt. We so protective over her, but we can't protect her from herself.

I get to the park and see her just sitting there in a daze. She wasn't crying she looked hurt.

"hey babymama"
"hey"

I sat down on the table top and she leaned into my chest. I wrapped my arms around her and she held on. Like if she let go I would leave.

"See, you can't be mad at them. They love you as much as I do or more."
"I don't know to feel. "
"what's going on See? "
"too much, I'm tired. I miss my brother. I can't till this year is over with. I need my grandpa right now"
"Dee, I love you. "
"I love you too"

With that we just chilled for about two hours. It seems she's carrying alot.

"so you gone open up next session? "
"maybe, no promises"
"I'll take that love"

Better days ahead..... I hope.........
**************************

Hello my beautiful butterflies. I made this one longer to make up for the short one yesterday.

What have thinking?

See mad at Sea and Scoop

Her mom, finally paying her some attention.
See feels guilty her moms feels guilty when it's not her fault.

The weight of the world on Dee shoulders.

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