I Like the Way it Hurts (Eminem Fanfic)

Chapter 44- Do you really love me?

Marshall's POV:

I am in a really unexpected and frustrating place right now. I have mixed emotions. Finding out that Kim is having a baby with some other guy has my head fucked up. Do I still love her?Yea.I think I always will.The problem is I also love Sara. Am I being selfish in keeping her around even though I may not be completely hers?Maybe. But I can't let her go.

I'm going about the house or should I say mansion to find her. Nathan said he doesn't know where she is just that she hasn't left. I walk outside to the private garden. She is sitting next to the fountain on a concrete bench.Its late and cold outside so I take my sweater off to hand it to her.

"Here put this on its cold out." I command her.

"No thanks."She replies not even looking at me.

I sit down next to her," Stop being stubborn."

She doesn't say anything.

"Are we gonna stay here and do this all night?"

Again only silence from her.

"I love you."I remind her.

She looks at me and I hear a small sob.Then she says,"Why do I feel that your statement isn't a hundred percent true?"

"You know what..."I was just about to go off on her but stopped myself for some reason. "Sara I don't just go telling everybody that. I say 'I love you' because I feel that way."

"Well I didn't get that from your reaction earlier tonight to Kim being pregnant."I sense hurt and jealousy from her.

"Come closer."

She doesn't move so I scoot next to her, thighs touching.I grab her face with one hand and turn her to look at me.Suddenly before I can say a word she begins crying and covers her face.

I don't like to see her cry. Maybe when I'm angry I don't feel as bad or guilty. But when I'm calm I can't see her break down.It literally does something to me that makes me want to soothe her.

"Can you please talk to me? I need to know what you're feeling."

After some seconds she takes her hands from her face, wipes her tears and looks down. In a small sobbing voice she says," I just want you to love me as much as I love you Emy. But I'm not getting that from today."

"Sara can you look at me?"

She shakes her head meaning no.

"Why?"

She slumps her shoulders.

I softened my voice even more so she could understand how much I care in working this out,"Here let me tell you something. You know why I won't ever be able to love you as much as you love me?Because your heart is a million times bigger than mine. Thats why I fell in love with you. You have everything I don't. I don't really care about anyone else except the people I know. You care about the whole world. You're gentle and sweet, specially with Hailie and Alaina. You make me feel like someone actually gives a fuck about me. You have money so you're not trying to get it out of me. You have success so you're not trying to get your way up by being in a relationship with me. Sometimes I give you attitude yet for some reason I don't get it in return.You have such a beautiful soul that I want the girls to be inspired off of it. I'm sorry if I made you feel like I didn't love you."

I take her hands and place soft kisses on them.

She calms down a little bit, looks at me and asks,"Are you upset that Kim is pregnant?"She doesn't sound angry. It seems like she's asking this question not because she wants to but because she has too for her own sake.

I can't tell her the whole truth, but maybe just as close as I can get to it." I don't know what I feel. It's a mixture of emotions because she's moving on so fast with her life. Having a kid is a huge thing. And you already know my stance on that. I guess she might have felt something the same like when we got more serious and you moved in with me."

"Marshall, are you still hurt by everything you went through with and because of her?"

I hesitate a little bit with my answer." Yes. It be stupid to say the opposite considering how I reacted tonight. "

She brushes my face as she stares at me but keeps quiet.

"You're beautiful."I whisper to her.

She looks down ignoring my comment clearly not caring at this moment about that.Understandable.
Instead she asks,"Does you still being affected by whatever happens in Kim's life mean that you're still not over her?"

Fuck why did she have to ask that.

"Sara I divorced her for a reason. I'm with you now. Isn't that enough?"

"Can you please answer my question?"Her voice was polite and stern.

"If I wasn't over her I wouldn't be in love with you." That statement was only in part the actual truth. Once again.

"Okay."

"Are you sure we're okay?"

She nodded her head and gave me a small smile," Yes. I believe you. I know you would never do anything to hurt me."

"Now will you take my sweater and put it on?"

"Yes."She gave me a smile that showed her teeth.Why does she always have to look so gorgeous?