Sad Poems and a Glimmer of Hope

Self Annihilation

And it's the longer I sit here and ponder my thoughts,
That my mind is reduced to the fear that will clot
And rot my purity in an unintentional haze.
Once the needle starts pumping you'll be amazed
At how fast your mind loses track,
Falls off a cliff,
And never comes back.
It starts with the numbing inside my brain
And trying not to give into the pain.
Like fighting a fire when there is no rain
Or driving the wrong way down a one way lane.
Depression is a race you can never win.
It'll be at the end before you can even begin.
The second step is the incision, a personal favorite of mine.
It's when you feel your worst fears incline.
Let learn how fucked up you really are,
Or what it takes to have permanent scars.
But really, how many people have you failed?
Your own father hates you, that ship has sailed.
Most of the people you knew have given up.
You're a sad excuse of a lie to cover up.
Which takes us to step three.
Total loss of control or insanity.
You may end up just like me.
A disaster of an ink spill on the written pages of poetry.
Erasing your memories that we ever existed.
Locking the door behind imagination and creativity that persisted.
Slowing down your heart so it won't beat anymore,
And killing off any happiness you had before.
Goodbye to you darling.
I'll put this aside tonight.
Just know that once I leave, you're not to blame,
But I'm never coming back the same.