In Love, Alone, and Terrified.

Chapter Five The Next Morning

The next morning after I got some rest I could finally think about what had happened last night. The pain I was feeling this morning was far worse then it was last night. What had I done? I kept saying to myself. Remembering every detail. It replayed over and over in my head. What had I done? Thinking back on it all. I called him and said right as he answered the phone "did we use anything?" He replied with a very concerned voice "um no" and then the line went silent. "Your on the pills right" he asked in an anxious voice. "No" I replied even more worried then I was before. What are we going to do? I kept asking myself. What I'm I going to do? Is it possible? Could I be? Could I be pregnant right this minute? No!! I said to myself. There's no way. But there is a way I replied, this argument with myself went on for several minutes. Thankfully Michael was still on the line and snapped me out of it. "We will figure this out together but still you can't tell anyone about us or what happened. Not even your closes friends" he said in an almost threatening tone. "We will get through this together no matter what I will be right by your side." I told him I had to go and I hung up the phone. I did not know what to do. I couldn't go to anyone. Neither of us could, neither of our parents could ever find out about any of this. That's why we were keeping this between us. My brother would be devastated if he found out. So we both just kept our mouths shut about it all. Which tore me apart because I loved him and I wanted to share this with my friends the ones I shared everything with, they are my personal diary. This was the biggest moment in my life and I was not aloud to say a word. I wanted to go behind his back and tell them so bad but it just did not feel right to do that. "But it was my life to!" I kept telling myself. This battle between myself went on for hours it seemed. But in all of reality it was only just a few minutes. I kept my mouth shut because I loved him and if you love someone you have to make sacrifices. "But what if I was carrying his child right now?" The battle against myself had begun again. "What if I wasn't?" "there was a chance." "or was there?" I kept asking myself over and over again. Having no idea how do deal with all these thoughts that we're going through my head. Again and again question after question. My head was spinning. I felt like if I had to think anymore my head was jut going to explode. The thought of him came into my head and I immediately stop the panic I was feeling. If I was it was Mine and Michaels baby. The thought of having a mini Michael running around made me so happy I didn't know why it did though. I had the love of my life with me and that's all that mattered. I was so happy words can't explain. The rest of the day was amazing. I could not stop thinking about Michael and the fact I could have a mini love of my life growing inside of me right then and there. My life was amazing I didn't think it could get any better. I felt like I was in a dream.