In Love, Alone, and Terrified.

Chapter Nine Can I Wake Up Now?

I was two months away from my due date now. Braden, Danielle, Emmy,and I were all doing out. I had not been out very much since I had found out about the baby. Braden drove by himself and the girls all drove together because Braden had to run by his office before meeting up at a friends house. I don't know why we all did not drive together because I knew I was going to be the girls sober ride home. Because of the baby I was not drinking. I did not even really want to be there I looked like a pumpkin. My stomach was huge at this point. Everyone would be able to tell that I was pregnant. I was not sure why I had gotten so big so quickly but I over looked that part. I was having so much fun still just being around people, friends especially. We were all just dancing and singing and having the best time ever. A few hours had past since we got there. It was only then that I thought about Braden. I had realized he was not there yet. I went around looking for him no one had seen him arrive. As much as I did not want to ruin Danielle's and Emmys night I went to them telling them about what had happened. Before I could tell them no they were already out the door to help me find him. What had happened? Was he ok? Where is he? Why is he late? Did he just lose trace of time? Question after question went through my head. As I began crying Danielle reached over and held my hand. And Emmy jumped up from the back seat to hug me from behind. We decided to go to the house first because that was the last place we had seen him. As we drove up the car was gone. But we checked the house just in case. He was not there so we decided to go to his office. As we pulled up his car was the only car in the parking lot. We went in I had keys to the building because Braden had given me a set. I ran back to his office. His office was on the complete opposite of the entrance, up three floors, in this hallway  his room was the last on the right. I ran all the way to his office did not even wait for the elevator I took the stairs knowing that with the adrenaline that was running through my body I would have the energy to get up the stairs faster. Not even thinking about the baby right at this moment. As I walked into his office the lights were all off except the one lamp at his desk which was always off when he was not in his office I walked over to the desk seeing that his phone and briefcase was on the desk. As I got closer my heart almost came to a stop. Seeing on the desk there always a paper and a pen I leaned over the front of the desk to grab the paper as I picked it up I saw Braden laying on the floor behind the desk. I ran over to him and there was blood all around him. He was not breathing as I broke down right there crying and then after it all sunk in I went numb. Did not know what to think. There was a gun laying next to him as I looked up to turn to my friends. It couldn't be. He did not kill himself it was a set up. He loved me he would never leave me like that he would never kill himself. Then as my mind was going one hundred miles an hour Emmy's voice said "Vanna you need to read this like right now." I stood up my legs feeling like jello I would have fallen straight on my face is it was not for Danielle. Emmy handed me the note and I started reading it.
The note read:
Dear Vanna,
If you are reading this it means I am already gone. I'm sorry it had to be like this. I loved you I am telling the truth about that. But I can't and didn't want to be the father of your child. I hate that it is like this. Hope you find a guy that will love you and your child.
Love,
Braden
I tried holding the tears back but I couldn't. They came faster then ever. I couldn't believe what I had just read. It was all my fault. I was the whole reason this had happened. I could not believe any of it. I just closed my eyes hoping I would wake up. I closed them tighter and tighter hoping I would wake up any minute. But I soon figured out that it was not a dream. As I sat there with Danielle and Emmy it was for sure not a dream.