Mr. Misty Eyed

You like Twenty One Pilots?

"Seriously, Josh." I said, walking to him out in the bunk area. "You have horrible timing."

"Sorry, but—" Josh stopped. "Wait. What were you and Tyler doing back there?"

"Playing the game." I said, telling the truth... Somewhat. "What did you want?"

"Ashley is canceling tomorrow. She can't play her song at our show." He told me. "She wants you to do it."

"What?" I almost screamed. "No!"

"Come on! Tyler does it!" He said, smiling. "If Tyler can do it, you can do it."

"No. I can't." I said, shaking my head repeatedly.

"Please?" He asked, giving me a fake pouty face.

"I can't." I said, tearing up. "I physically, mentally, emotionally cannot do that, Josh."

"Come on! I'll be right there!" He had a horrible argument.

"And so will thousands of strangers!" I argued back, beginning to tear up a little. "It's too much for me, Josh."

"Just think about it... Please." He said, hugging me quickly. I walked back into the back room and sat on the couch.

"Hey." Tyler said, standing up. He sat beside me and I instantly hated him.

"Just go away, Tyler!" I half screamed at him.

"Tell me what's wrong."

"I said" I turned to face him. "Get the fuck away from me." As soon as the words slipped, I knew I'd regret it. Tyler left, but only to ask Josh what was wrong with me. "Are you fucking serious, Tyler?" I screamed after him. "If I didn't tell you, Josh won't either!"

I just sat there, hands over my face, crying. I can't do this. I can't believe I just screamed at Tyler. I can't fucking do anything. My  own mind was becoming too much for me to bare. I'm so fucking pathetic. If I were stronger, I would be able to do this. I just can't.

I hadn't noticed, but I was pulling at my hair, gritting my teeth and just staring at my arm. Maybe I should... Just wear jackets. It gets pretty cold. I should. I second guess myself so much. Too much. I'm too fucking weak to even cut! Ha. I'm fucking worthless. If I were stronger, Josh wouldn't care what went on with Tyler and I.

I didn't realize what I was doing until it was already in my hands. The razor I had hidden inside my phone case. I looked at my arms one last time. They've been clean for 3 months. 3 months without cutting... Wasted. I was just wasting air, time, space. Tyler can find someone else to attempt to kiss. Josh can find a better little sister.