Senior Year

Sorry Isn't Enough

Waking up this morning wasn't as bad as I thought intill I seen myself in the mirror God I was mess. My hair was a disaster, my eyes were puffier than puffier I also had the biggest headache. "Alex." I hear a voice coming from my bedroom door. Dad. As I walked to the door yup dad. "Yeah?" 

"Are you okay, you seemed saaa..."

"I'm fine day. Everything is okay." By the way when a girl says she's okay trust me she isn't. I guess its our way of hiding pain from others to see.  "Hopefully you are. I was wondering if you were still wanting to..."

"Dad I haven't forgot dinner with your 'girlfriend' and her family. Its nice to know your moving on little by little. I love the fact that you did. You deserve someone that loves you in any condition. That will never leave for anyone or anything."

"Okay? Are we still taking about me? Because..."

"Yes dad." Not really. I really need to stop lying to him. But what would I tell him 'dad you know how you told me not to date yeah about that I fell in love with this guy and he broke my heart and he might be in New York well lets not say might, he is and I saw him and that's why I was crying my eye balls out yesterday'. Not happening any day soon. "Are you going out today?"

"Nope staying in for the day."

"Okay be ready by 8:00."

"What time is it?"

"Alex its going to 5 already." Wow crying does make you sleep longer than usual. I needed it more than ever.

"I'll start getting ready I guess."

"Okay see you at 8. I really hope you like her I really do love her."

"Daaaaaadddd. I'll love her and her family. If you love her and she makes you happy I'm happy too."

                      One hour later...

Hurry up Alex! Come on don't be nervous your just going to meet the girl your dad loves that's all. Act cool and you'll be ok! I wonder how she is I know dad doesn't really have a type he just... I don't know. Because I kinda have high expectations in women for my dad. But none will ever be mom no matter what. Hopefully she's nice not like his ex-wife.

      I don't know two hours later? 

"Were going to get their dad. Calm your nervous you see the woman everyday."

"I know but today is special. Your meeting her and your opinion matters to me more than anyone's." He said a little anxious. His acting like a 14 year old on his first date. It was pretty cute to see my dad like that. He's always the tough type of person that doesn't really show his emotions for any girl after mom I think..

"Where here Alex come on lets get off. Come on. Come on."

   And I do as he said. He seemed really nervous and frustrated to see the lady. As we walk into the restaurant I noticed a fancy  Californian woman (I pretty much guessed on the Californian part).
"Hey Rosemarie." My dad said while receiving her with a kiss on her cheek. Before she sat down dad  pulled out the chair for her and in her response she thanked him. After he pushed in hers he pushed mine. "Sorry my son is a little late." The son dad talked about. How she barley found him after years later. I guess Rosemarie got pregnant at the age of 15 and her parents forced her to give him for adoption. "Its fine Rose he'll be here." Dad said putting his hand on hers. We waited for about 10 minutes. After those few minutes my bladder was going to pop so I excused myself from the table. After reaching the bathroom in time I felt relieved not just because of going to the restroom but from the pressure of making a good impression. After washing my hands I walk confidently to the table until I seen him once again. I noticed I wasn't crying no more. I guess people do move on after all but I wondered. If he was the lost child, why didn't he ever tell me he was adopted? Breathe Alex you got this! Do it for your father.

                 Xavier's POV
She was just breathe taking! "Xavier?... Xavier?"
"Sorry Rosemarie."

"No, no it's okay. I'm glad you met Alexandra, my fiances daughter."
Fiancé? As I swallow my saliva I feel a big painful bump in my throat. "Well nice to meet you Alex." She seems to be  playing the role of I don't know you.

"Nice to meet you Xavier." She said while shaking my hand. Her touch  was like a electronic shock to my heart and body. All I could look at were her big, light brown eyes. She seemes to act to like me last time seening her destroyed me. Seeing her cry was the last thing I wanted to cause. I know love has it's ups and downs but crying is a big down I never want to see.

  As we sat together I would notice that she was anxious her leg was shaking. I didn't want her to feel anxious, frustrated or whatever she was feeling. So I place my arm on her upper thigh trying to stop the shaking. The moment my hand  touched her skin she looked at me. She didn't say a word she just stared. She probably was looking into my soul. Or that's how it felt she was doing. "Alex are you okay?" The moment her father (which I have never met) said those words she immediately turned to see him.
"Yeah dad. I'm fine." He just knotted.  Does he know about us? What we had? How much I loved his daughter? Did she ever tell him? Or did she ever mention me to anyone?
"So Dylan how are you?"
"Great just trying to get threw my last year of high school and getting ready for the business life."
"Sounds great hun." Hun?
 
  My grandparents told me I was a foster child as soon as I arrived to New York. They we're dedicated to find my birth mother. & they did find her. When I first met her I asked her more than a thousand questions. I told her I will forgive her but I needed time. Since then she's been understanding. The real reason I'm in contact with her is because I knew how important this was for my grandparents. But here I am sitting next to my future half-sister that I'm still in love with. I'm going to see her for the rest of my life but now not the way I want to...

I'm really sorry if there are grammar mistakes or anything. Hope you enjoy & comment if there is a mistake I'll fix it. Thank you :)
                                                    -J