Senior Year

Life Goes On With Or Without You

Cameron's POV
Waking up from what happened. I still can't believe it. The last thing I cared about was running, Britney, even if it hurt so bad I knew Alex needed me. Since the day I met her we we're only 9 years old. She seemed like a very shy girl. One time when I hugged her she pulled away immediately and started crying in pain. I didn't know that my hugs we're that mad. I really don't think it was that I think it was something else but I never figured it out. She always had her wall up to high. She never gave me a chance to clime it so I never ask her again. Since then we have been cool until I kinda told her off for telling me about Britney. She was right the while time about her.

Staring at the sealing for about I don't know a hour or two Im trying to find the words to tell Alex about this morning. She moves a little, now her head was in my chest as I stroke her hair I quietly say "Its going to be okay I promise." With that said I kissed the top of her head.
I kinda missed Alex I haven't seen her much at school lately but I heard from her mom she was at the hospital with Dylan. I guess that fucker almost got killed but I can careless. And when I would see her she was always with that fucken rich boy. I wasn't jealous or anything. They seemed more than friends most of the time. The last time I talked to her she seemed happy with Dylan. If what Alex told me yesterday when I was caring her home was true that it was his fault that she was crying in the airport I swear he will regret it, she's a great person what else does he fucken want. Ohhhh maybe he just wanted a toy. I can't stand but to clinch my teeth together. Alex deserves better. All I want for her is the best and he ain't that. He never will!
"Hey Alex." I say as Alex gets her head and hand off of my chest. Alex no! Come on! She starts crying like reality hit her again. She lays back on my chest. "Cameron. He left. I begged him to stay but he did budge. He was stuck to his decision. I tried to save what we had. I fell for him so fast but all at once. You know I haven't ever fallen for a boy that hard. Look at me, I'm fucken crying for the guy! I wasn't good enough to make him stay. I accepted the fact that I'm poor and that I don't have a great future planned out for me like he does but I love him Cameron. This is not going to go away so fast. I fell and now I'm going to have to learn to stand up again." Tears after tear fall on my chest. She's really hurting. This is actually the first time she ever does. She's always that strong person or she wants to be. Seeing her break and for a fucken asshole it even hurts me. As I pet her hair all I can say is "Im sorry Alex. I'm going to be here I'm not going anywhere. Look at me! Look! I'm here! I'm not leaving you get that threw your thick skull! It hurts me seeing you like this, broken! You don't even fucken know! Remember are promise? The one we made when you finally let me be your friend? We will always protect each other no matter what and even care for each other. We have each other!" She can't stop looking at me. Then she finally hugs me. "Cameron, I needed those words. Thank you. That promise is forever." We stay like this for a while. I let her let it all out. Tear after tear came down her face and to my back. I just holded her tighter. Thats all I can do. I would take that pain any day! "Cameron I love him & it hurts so bad. He injured it so bad that I think I can't ever love. He hurt me! And he succeeded he really did! Cameron it fucken hurts." She said repeatedly. As I brush my hands on her back and hug her tighter. "Cameron it hurts! It hurts!" I hug her even tighter. "I know. I know it does. Love fucken hurts like a bitch! Its like a sign saying 'everything is beautiful it's the best way you will feel in your whole life' but when you pass that sign. It fucken dark with no exit. Your going to stay there in till it's healed. Love hurts I know but I'm here. Were going to have to get over it together." She pulls away cleaning her tears "What happen with Britney? I heard you guys broke up."
"I guess fuck buddies is all she wanted. But you know I wanted more. I wanted to fucken marry the girl! And all she wanted is sex!" She didnt seemed surprised. "Alex I'm sorry for what I told you. I just couldn't believe what you told me I was just too blind! Exactly like you I fell and fell too fucken hard!" Now she's the one hugging me. "Im so sorry Cam. Life is harsh. And the most mest up thing is that you can't choose the person that hurts you and even your own life. I'm sorry but I'm here now. Will get threw this together. I promise." I hug her tighter than I already have. "We will Alex. Together."
-------------------------------------------------------------
We both got out of bed and decided to just eat cereal and to play video games. Alex would have her random break downs. All she would say when she would cry was "he left and he ain't coming back. Not even our love made him stay he still left. Seeing me cry wasn't enough." I think I memorized the frase already. All I would do is hug her. Trying to make her feel better and also to comfort her. After we stopped playing games she decided to call her mom to tell her she was with me. She managed not to cry while talking to her mom. "Cameron please don't mention this whole Dylan thing to my mom she already has enough with the bills and everything you know."
"Don't worry Alex I won't mention it at all. Whenn you go back to school are you going to let Amy know? She's been worried about you."
"I think she will know just by looking at me."
"You know it's kinda hard to know how you feel inside because you always hide it. Your broken and your hurt. Hiding that, now that's impossible."
"You have to hide from your own emotions. With time ill forgive him and will get over it but right now ... we're way far from that. With that said I think I'm going to be heading home. I need time to you know. Get my life together." She stands up from my bed. Her messy hair all over the place, her eyes still swollen from all the crying. She continues " I'll see you at school tomorrow okay. Thank you for everything. You don't know how much it means to me."
"Okay, see you there! And don't thank me! Thats why I'm here for." With that said I get up and hug Alex and walk her out. "You better not fucken mention what I told you to know one. And even that I almost started crying for a girl that's not worth it. Got it." Alex bursts out with laughter. "Got it. Bye."
"Okay I hope you did. Bye." As I say closing the door. I thought my life was complicated. Alex's is fucken worst on every level.