Forever and Always

Luke

It has been a few days since me and Niall are officially over. And i've been doing my ultimate best to get my head over from him, i kept myself busy with photoshoots, runways and everything else a model should do. But, somehow, almost everything i'm doing, he popped to my head just that easily.

Both Carol and Keysha kept helping me with this moving on step and i very appreciate them for doing this to help me.

It has been a few days since i last saw him at the hospital and honestly, i miss him. I do, i really really do miss him. I know it's stupid for missing a guy that hurts you the most but i do. I always do. He's back on tour and he is everywhere. On the Tv, twitter, Instagram, everywhere. I've seen a video of him once on Twitter, he was singing Over Again and he cried.

I don't know what i should do right now. I miss him but i still am hate him for what he had done to me. He lied to me, from the beginning.

I loved him so much and i still do. Somehow, no matter how much angry i am for him, i still do love him. I hate him so much.

Right now, i'm on the coffee shop, alone with my own thoughts and my laptop on the table infront of me. I took a sip of my coffee before looking down and that's when i realized i'm still wearing the necklace he gave to me. Yes, he did. It was a few days before the whole kiss started and he surprised me with this beautiful little neclace with a N on it. And the N is for him, Niall Horan.

I must've been wearing it since a long time ago, cause i never realized i'm still wearing it till now. I let out a sigh before placing my finger softly on the cold metal N and breathe in sharp, before biting my lip and let my finger go from the metal cold N and look back on to my laptop.

The cut has spreaded all over the world. And in every interview i went to, it has always talked about either Niall and the cut. It's very bothering me, actually. The fact that they are more focused on my relationship life than my own succesfull life. And the fact that they kept bringing Niall up into the interview when i on the other hand still trying to move on, but they just wont let me to.

None of the 1D lads has been contacting me and i really appreciate that. They must've known i never wanted to see them again, but fucked i miss them all.

I sighed before opening twitter again and look at the tweets that are mostly about the guys on their tour. Niall has been the most excited lad at the concerts, but he has been so quiet on the videos. He barely even talk or smile, he always kept his head down and he cried most of the times.

Is he really that sad?

He should be happy right? He's the one who lied to me since day one, he's the one who's hurting me, why does it seems like the opposite?

Why does it seems like he is the one who's hurting and i'm the one who's with the knife?

I let out a sigh before turning off the laptop and drink the last sip of my coffee and stand up with my bag on my side and my laptop on the other one. I let out another breath before walking out from the coffee shop. I used my dark eyeglassed when the paparazzi started to make a circle around me. They started to shout out Niall's name and other things, but i just keep my head down while i hopped on my brand new car.

It's a gift actually, from an unknown person. It's a Mercedes Benz S-Class Sedan. I don't know who's the person who gave it to me but i do think it's from Niall. He knows i like Sedans, so...

I put down my bag and my laptop on the front seat before started to drive off and went straight home. I have nothing to do today and i am bored. So, i decided i'll just be at home with Netflix. Carol and Zayn has already started again, and i am happy for her. But neither of me or Zayn has spoken nor meet.