Thomas Brodie Sangster Imagines (under extreme revision)

~ Tried ~

WARNING: CONTAINS MENTIONS OF DRUGS, VIOLENCE, BLOOD, GANG, DEATH

Gang Member! Thomas x Non-Binary Reader

-

If you've reached my voice message then I don't want to talk to you. 

Beep.

You sighed as you ended up onto his voicemail again. For the 10th time. 

After the fight between you and him, he left in the middle of the night and he showed no signs of coming back any time soon. You started to worry for him since you didn't exactly know what he would be doing at this time of the night. Maybe it was just you thinking too much of it and some would even say that he's a grown man but you couldn't bring yourself to not fuss over him. 

He's only shared a few words about what he did back and barely enough with what he's doing now. He had mentioned to you often times that he had no family, just his grandparents who died as soon as he turned 10 caused by a tragic car crash. Since then, your... complicated partner learned how to survive on his own, the hard way. At the age of 16, he was forced join a gang where they'd just beat anybody then came the excessive drinking and smoking too much drugs until he can barely breathe the fresh air, lungs filled with the toxic fumes of the sad bitter state he was in called life.

The time you both first met was the typical dark alley outside a bar where he was assigned to kill you as your father had invested himself in their gang yet problems occurred. He had you in his grasp, arm wrapped tightly around your neck with a sharp knife pressed to your cold skin close, the urge to see red staining his hands beckoned him to do it but then his eyes met yours under a single lamp post in an alley. Unwavering eyes that looked into him with barely an ounce of fear, as if you even pushed his limits and it was clear that you didn't fear death when it fact you wanted to embrace it, he understood. 

But it also scared him. 

After the small little mishap, coincidentally, you both keep seeing each other wherever you go. The mall, coffee shop and even in the smallest boutiques, you both keep seeing eye to eye and memories from the night kept flashing in your mind and at first, it creeped you out. This lead you to being cautious but you realized that he peaked your interest so, staring death at its face, you took it upon your hands to approach him first. Everything was new to Thomas and he still wasn't sure if he preferred it over being alone. The casual teasing, laughing, smiles and even your touch made him feel uneasy that he became confused. 

Because you made him feel. 

Thomas learned that everyone he loved was bound to leave and maybe he was afraid that you'd do the same too. No matter how tough his front may be, he was terrified over the smallest of things, he's experienced too much darkness that he didn't want any touch of light in him. But you came along.

The light he didn't want but longingly needed. 

Ring Ring Ring

"Hello." His rough and deep voice finally resonated into your ears causing your eyes to light up as soon as you heard him.

"Thomas..." You breathed out in relief and you could only hear silence for a while before he coughed a bit and muttered a low "What?"

"I just... I want to apologize. It wasn't fair for you because I was the one who pushed you---"

"You did nothing." He immediately said, taking in a sharp breath, "It was my fault. I was the one who started the fire and, fuck, I don't know how to put it out." 

"I'm sorry. I tried to change for you, I really did. You don't deserve someone who's lowly, Y/N." He said your name so firmly as if he didn't want to utter it in the first place which made your heart constrict. 

"What? Why would you change? I-i like you the way you are. I've accepted your flaws and I guess I just need to understand you more so please, talk to me. Tell me what's wrong." You genuinely wanted to know though you could tell that he was hesitant with the way his breathing hitched at your words and you pursed your lips, thinking you had gone too far again.

"I..." Thomas had doubts. Did he really trust you enough? Would you leave him if he told you everything? 

"I'm sorry."

Would you... feel the same?