Worthless
Fat ass
Ugly
All words that you have called me.
How do you think those words affected me?
Did you think I could just brush them off?
Like none of them meant anything.
Like I could just forget about them at the end of the day.
If you did then you were wrong.
Every word pierced my heart.
Like you were stabbing me with your voice.
Did you think about the repercussions of your actions?
Did you know that they could kill if you weren't careful?
I thought a lot about just ending it during that time;
that the world might have been better without me in it.
Many sleepless nights I contemplated on how to end everything.
It would have been so easy for me
A couple of pills
A bullet
And my life would be over,
The torture would be over.
I might have tried any of those options if I didn't have the support that I do.
But what if I had ended it?
Could you live knowing that you caused my death?
Would you regret what you did?
The harmful things that you said.
There are so many stories where people kill themselves over words and there tormenters don't care.
Would you be one of those who doesn't?
Even now, after I have grown strong and seemingly unaffected by your words, I wonder what made you hate me so much that you would put me through hell.
What made you think that you could do this to a living breathing human?
I know these questions will never get answers
Yet I hope that one day I will know what was going on in your head when you thought it was right to say these words to me.
