joshler oneshots

color

ok this one is gonna be longer than the rest but it's probably my favorite thing i've ever written aaAA (not rly any warnings theres mention of past bullying but it doesn't go into any detail + theres descriptions of like sexuality and stuff so skip if you need to!! love u all)

they say once you meet your true love, you see color. i've never seen color. probably never will. i know white, black, and the shades in between. sometimes i dream of color, but i forget them too soon to describe them. i remember that they're nice. i don't remember the plot of those dreams, either, but they were happy and warm, smiling. i've never felt that either. dreams are weird.
i trudge along the stupid, grey sidewalk on the way to my stupid, grey school with the stupid, grey people. nothing is ever vibrant. sometimes the sunrises will have a nice contrast, giving me a little hope. nonetheless, i never see the pinks, purples, or oranges that some describe. one day, they tell me, one day.
the true love thing- it's not at first sight. you really have to meet them. talk for a bit. some go around getting to know everyone they can, desperate to find their match. i'm not so enthusiastic. if it was so "meant to be," then the situation would work itself out. special things can't be forced.
by this time, i was zoned out to the point that i had already walked into my english class, taking my seat. something was different- a new kid. i looked at him carefully. he was pretty.
"josh, you're here!" my english teacher exclaimed. she rambled on about this new kid, whom i'd missed the name of. did she not realize i wasn't listening? i caught something about partners, perfect for each other. i nodded in hopes that she'd finish rambling.
"okay, perfect. i'll leave you two to talk for a bit. class starts in about 15 minutes, spend some time with each other," she said with a wink. was she serious?
sighing, i turned towards the kid. he looked a little anxious, but nothing i couldn't ease. i had experience with this, having the disorder myself.
"hey, my name's josh," i said carefully, trying not to mumble as i usually do.
"hey, uh, i'm... tyler.." he trailed off, squinting his eyes, looking around. i cocked my head in confusion. "sorry, i'm just seeing weird. probably nothing."
just as he said that, i started seeing weird too. everything had these weird tints to them that i couldn't explain. they weren't grey, but they were close. just the slightest hint of a difference.
he saw the look on my face, having his turn of confusion.
"i think i am too, actually," i said, not knowing what else to say about it. "well, anyways, you're new, right?" he nodded as i proceeded. "well, in this class, everyone has a partner for the semester, and they work together on most the assignments. they were chosen randomly, and at the beginning of the year the class had an odd number, and i was the odd one out. but, since you're here, we get to work as partners," i said with a smile in an attempt to comfort him. it was his first day, i was sure he was terrified.
"sounds cool, man. i'm actually really into literature and stuff, how about you?" he asked with a bit of hope in his voice.
"yeah," i said, "this is my favorite class, next to band," i assured.
we talked for a few minutes about classes and teachers, other basic stuff necessary to start school this late in the year. i was glad i was able to be his partner- his voice was a honey sound while just a bit ragged. beautiful is what it was. i could just listen to him all day, and the way he chose his words was endearing. i could only imagine what he could do when really flowing his emotions into the paper the way that we're encouraged to do in our class. just as class is about to start, we scribble each others' numbers on the backs of our hands. we'll need to hang out after school and go over past material in order for him to do any good in this class. plus, he seems like a cool guy. why not hang out with him?
as the bell rings and the teacher begins class, i found myself looking at him. something about him made this world not seem so grey anymore. as i absently studied each of his features, i saw him looking back at me. he held my stare for a few seconds before dropping the gaze, looking down and his cheeks darkening. only they weren't just another tone of grey- it was a light, beautiful color, one that reminded me of warm blankets and sleepy smiles. i'd read  a lot about colors before, and it's been said that people blush a light pink or a darker red. i decided this was pink. i liked pink.
this continued through class until the bell rang again. i told tyler i'd text him later and made my way to my art class. today we were just going through some history of famous artists, so i didn't really pay attention. my mind wandered back to english class. i saw color. what i didn't think about at the time was that you see in full color when you get to know your soulmate. nobody mentioned hints of color like i saw. maybe tyler was the one? i met him and i saw pink on his cheeks. maybe i'll see more colors with him. that'd be nice.
-a week later-
ty guy: hey u wanna hang out
jishwa: we did literally every day this week
jishwa: of course i do lol
ty guy: cool. come over my place?
jishwa: be there in 10
-
it was friday, so i just stayed at tyler's house for the night, borrowing a pair of sweats to sleep in. we were practically best friends at this point, but it was his first week so most of the time we spent together was reviewing past material. finally, it was friday and we could rest. after a bit of mario kart, we decided to put on a movie and settle down for the night.
"i hope it's not weird if you, like, if we share the bed, unless you wanna like.. sleep on the floor," tyler said in an awkward tone.
"no, no, this is fine, man," i assured him. i laid down next to him and laid my head on his shoulder. at first he stiffened up, but then relaxed, slowly putting his arm around my shoulders. i smiled, looking up to him, and he looked focused on the movie but i saw his blush again. the pink was more vibrant this time.
we began to talk during the movie and through the early a.m., telling stories of our lives. the ones that really made us who we are. it was dark at this point, so i just kept my eyes closed and my head nuzzled against tyler's chest, listening to his heartbeat and his tired voice. somehow, it was more beautiful and serene than his normal voice. we touched on the base of sexuality eventually, since that was a large part of why tyler was bullied at his old school and almost forced to move here.
"what's your sexuality, even?" i asked. "i mean, if you're comfortable telling."
"i'm, uh, p.. pansexual. it means i can be attracted to anyone, regardless of their gender. i kinda, like, have to 'click' with another person for me to be actually attracted to them. there's people that i'd definitely date, but i just don't actually feel the butterflies and emotions and all like i should. some people, though, even if i don't like them at first, it works itself out as a crush," he explained. "what about you?"
"i, uh," i thought out loud. i'd never really put much thought into it. by the was tyler described it, i was probably the same as him. "i'm not sure, i've never really bothered to label myself," i said, "i just like who i like and that's the end."
i heard tyler sigh the smallest sigh of relief. we continued to talk like this, almost half asleep, forgetting what we were just talking about two minutes ago. i had my head on his chest still, playing with the fabric of his shirt, as he held me tightly. i curled up to him as the conversation slowed as did our breathing. we cuddled in a comfortable silence until we couldn't even keep up with the slow thoughts and slipped into a dreamy sleep.

i woke up to the sun shining through the blinds of tyler's window. he was still holding me, fast asleep. i nuzzled into him, causing his eyes to flutter open and a deep breath. i looked around, breathless at what i saw. the world wasn't grey anymore. i saw different hues everywhere. one that reminded me of fire and arguments, anger and bloodshed. another, though, was lively and bright. this reminded me of a warm cup of tea and a walk through the forest. another i recognized from the other day, a nice shade of pink. this was much brighter, though. my eyes were glued to the colors i saw around the room until i finally looked back at tyler. from the look of astonishment on his face, he seemed to be seeing the same thing.
tyler was the one.
without much thought, i reached up and neared my face to his. looking at his lips, i waited for a sign of consent. tyler moved his hand to the side of my face, leaning forward. i closed the space, pressing my lips against his as i closed my eyes. the world stopped and butterflies were everywhere. i reached to his neck and pulled him closer, deepening the kiss. my lungs screamed for air as i had stopped breathing completely, but i ignored it as long as i could. we both pulled back at the same time, inhaling deeply. i rested my forehead against his, catching my breath with the biggest smile.
i've never really felt before now, i've never seen. but now, i feel electric. i feel happy. right. i really feel like i have a place. not only can i see the world the way i'm meant, but i see that maybe life is worth living. tyler helps me see that.
they say that once you meet your true love, you see color. they were right.

1740 WORDS LOOK AT ME GO

ok i really love this one so let me know what you think!! every comment and vote is appreciated💓