Love Lost & Lust

Dilemma

   "Krystal, I'm home!" I heard the front door slammed shut. Her sudden entrance made my heart race as I rushed to change into more comfortable clothes. Hastily, I dashed into my dresser drawers grabbing the first pieces of clothing to cover my nude figure. I plucked a navy blue sweat pants and plain white vest before snatching my 3C natural tuft into a topknot.  Quickly, I hurried across the room, gathering the condom wrappers and condoms carefully wrapping them in sanitary paper and disposed of them in my bathroom's bin. Glancing at the bed spreads,  I figured they weren't too messy while I anticipating my mother's imminent arrival. I neatly arranged the pillows and grabbed two novels from my wooden bookshelf to the left of my room and toss them on my twin-sized bed.

   "Krys!" My mother exclaimed as she entered the room, looking around. "Why didn't you respond when I called?" She asked, her tone slightly irritated.

   "I-um, I was asleep and ..."

  "and what's that smell? It's like..." She sniffed the air, detecting what she believed to be a scent resembling latex.

   "Mom!" I exclaimed hurriedly moving  beside her, guiding her out. "I would appreciate some privacy... you know." I complained, nervously fidgeting with my  fingers.   

 "Privacy? It better not be what I suspect, or there will be consequences. You are aware that engaging in any sexual activities at your age is not permitted," she warned, pointing at me with a stern expression, as usual.

   "I know mom, I know " I exhaled and rolled my eyes mentally. 

 "Dinner will be ready in an hour my love,  make sure you don't lose track of time engrossed in your books and forget to come down to eat." she gently placed a kiss on my forehead before closing the door.

  "Your hardly around anyway" I whispered to myself as I collapsed onto the bed. That was a close one. If she was to ever discover my hidden life, particularly with a man five years older than I am, the consequences would be severe. I wonder how she would react. This is where Robin enters the picture. Our relationship began to blossom after a random encounter at Lobert's Donut Shop shortly after the start of my Junior year and spawned ever since. 

I peeped my phone after it vibrated interrupting my train of thought.

Robin: Hey love, what are you up too later? can I swing by and get you at 7?

Krystal: You know I'm always up for spending time with you. I'll let my mom know I'm going to Caleb's house. See you soon!

 With that being said, I quickly jumped into the shower and prepared myself for my supposed date with Rob. I threw on grey tech bell bottom with a bra and hoodie. I release my golden locs and let them hung on my shoulders. I packed and overnight back with the necessary things that I'll need and made my way down to the kitchen. 

   "Ma, I'm heading to Caleb's house to complete a- a history essay for the night!" I stuttered to my mom who was in the kitchen making what smells like Quesadillas. 

  "You're going to Caleb's house again? haven't you been there twice this week? its Only Wednesday Krys." She spoke with uncertainty. Despite her attempts to confine me to the house, I still have the freedom to leave at anytime because she's hardly ever home.  "And what's that duffle bag for anyways, you said you'll be staying the night, not a week."

  "Its the stuff for our assignment mom, can not with the questions tonight."I said with a forced but convincing smile, keeping the bag hid behind me and mentally praying she wouldn't ask to see what's inside. I couldn't afford to get caught now, or ever. "Seriously mom, He's my closest friend; why would you make such a statement?" I shook my head in disbelief to her theory. While she wasn't entirely wrong, I had to lead her to believe that she was.

   "Krys, he's gay." Her mom stated with a blank expression. "You should consider befriending individuals who are not... who aren't mentally corrupt and who do not support the rainbow flag," she continues.   

Sighing in annoyance, I rolled my eyes and placed my gaze on the quesadillas she was preparing.

   "What about dinner, aren't you staying?" Mom tried to changed the topic to make small talk when she noticed I went silent. "I have to get back to the hospital soon." She dried her hands in a dish cloth eyeing my choice of clothing. It almost seems like she's always quick to judge me and she's never really around to get to know me.

"Its just a sleepover, Mom," I said hastily, noticing her gaze. "How about we meet at the hospital tomorrow morning? We can have breakfast together at Mink Posh Café." I suggested hoping she says yes. Its been months since we've done anything together, its almost like her life revolves around the hospital and there isn't any room for me anywhere in her busy schedule. Yes, I completely understand that being a Resident Physician is hard and takes a lot from a doctor but when it comes to me, I'm irrelevant to her. She shows up for and hour and wants to play mother of the year.

   " I don't think I'll get off work until after noon so please do not come to the hospital, alright?" she cautioned as she picked up her journal from the dining table and began flipping through the pages.

   "Okay!" I threw my hands up in defence. "I won't." 

    "Please becareful, don't talk to strangers and have fun." she waved before returning to the kitchen to resume her cooking. That woman lives for putting up a persona that she doesn't even know me. I have been having a secret relationship with a twenty two year old and she has no idea. Four blocks away from my house at our usual spot a black  Wrangler approached at the corner and I got in. I tossed my bag on the on the floor, now face to face with her man.

   "Ready to have some fun baby girl?" His velvety voice enveloped me, sounding as though it had been absent for an eternity. A playful smirk danced upon his lips as he awaited my response. "I assume that means you're on board," he chuckled. "buckle up, because we have a long way ahead of us," he exclaimed, taking a sharp left turn and shifting his focus back to the road ahead. I did what I was told then promptly sent Caleb a message with the essential information to cover for me. As he interlocked his fingers with my ones, he softly uttered, "I love you," stealing glances at me whenever possible. 

Although my smile faltered momentarily, I quickly regained composure. I couldn't help but wonder why the sudden declaration of love and if it was genuine. Hearing those three words was something I had always longed for, but could I believe it was true? Was he being honest? 

  "I love you too...Robin," I softly uttered amidst my clouded thoughts. I contemplated for a second whether my words held truth or if I was simply caught up in the moment.

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