damage || [continuation of heather]

spark of hope? -xxxvii-

Song of this chapter: The Funeral - Band Of Horses

"Hey, no need to worry, sweetheart, we're not leaving your side.", Penelope spoke, cutting the icy seconds of unbearable silence, in which the quiet sobs of Heather were echoed in the white room.

It surely was weird for Heather to look at the white ceiling, bed sheets, curtains, floor, everything. It reminded her of her wedding dress, that now laid somewhere, probably in a trash container or a dirty corner, blood-stained, soaked in grief and cut up. 

Her dream was destroyed. She had to watch how everything was breaking apart in front of her and she could do nothing about it, it was like she was cuffed to this damn hospital bed.

She thought about how she would do the same to that sick monster, no matter who it was. She would do the exact same to that person, they ruined everything for them, after all they've been through, as if it hadn't been hard on all of them already..

Heather felt warm arms around her neck now, which gave her goosebumps. 

She was being hugged by Penelope and as soon as she had engulfed her , the others joined in on the hug as well, even though it was a bit complicated with Heather having to be in that bed.

They pulled apart.

Heather sat in that bed without moving a muscle, she was just breathing, in and out, again and again and she was freezing because of the thin hospital gown that was the only thing covering her.

"You're shaking!", Emily exclaimed before opening her bag to pull out a cardigan, "here, wear this."

"Thank you.", Heather nodded appreciatively, before covering her weak arms with the soft fabric.

One could hear the rain knock on the window pane lightly which was oddly comforting for every single one of them. The thunder was diminishing slowly and the sky was turning lighter and lighter by the minute.

 "I'm so sorry.", David spoke now, and that's when Heather brought her hands to her temple and the tears were coming again. She moved them up to run her fingers through her by now greasy, tangled hair.

She felt absolutely drained but couldn't help the tears leaving her eyes.

Her breathing accelerated and the three team members flashed her a look of concern. 

"Hey, Heather, don't hyperventilate, everything is going to be better in the end.", Penelope tried comforting her, though she had to fight the tears as well.

Another shot of pain went through Heather's body, and that's when she calmed herself down a little bit, gripping onto the sheets.

"Has JJ asked about Spencer?", she asked now, "Do you know how he is?"

The three exchanged a worried look.

"Not yet, Morgan, JJ and Hotch are trying their best to find out something.", Rossi answered, clearing his throat afterwards.

"Okay.", she whispered sadly. 

Prentiss loosened Jayce's fist from the sheets and brought them in her hands giving it a squeeze before letting go again, "It's remotely possible for him to survive. There's a chance."

"A very slight one. But there is a chance.", Penelope repeated, nodding her head. 

"But it depends on where he was shot. And it looked like-", Heather tried swallowing the lump in her throat and wiping her tear-stained cheeks with her free hand, "It looked like, like- he was shot right in the,", she paused, "he was shot right in the heart."

"You can't know for sure, Heather, let us rely on that little spark of hope, yeah?", David tried comforting not only her, but himself and the other two as well.

"Okay.", she murmured. 

"I feel so guilty.", Heather admitted, leaving the others puzzled.

"about everything.", she continued, "it's just-, first of all, if Spencer weren't to marry me, he would've probably never been shot."

She sighed, looking up from the mattress to look her comforters in the eye, " I love him so much."

"I can't lose him. We already lost one of our babies."

"You're in no way to blame, Heather. And you won't lose him, we won't lose Spencer.", Emily soothed her.

"Spencer will be so disappointed in me... I wasn't able to protect him and I wasn't able to protect both of our babies. It is all my fault.", she gripped her hair. 

"It's all my fault, if it weren't for me-", she screamed, her voice breaking in the process. 

She tried turning to her side, making her naked feet touch the floor now, about to get up.

"Hey, hey, Heather, sit down again!", Rossi commanded.

"I need to see Spencer! I just need to see him! Please!", she shouted.

"Please just let me see him!", she slumped back onto the bed, " I just want to see him."

Rossi moved her legs slowly and she drew herself into the fetal position, pulling her knees as close as she could possibly manage to her slightly swollen belly without feeling any pain.

"It's going to be okay.", Garcia and Prentiss said simultaneously, sitting down on the other side of the bed edge.

"You're going to see him again, just not now, okay?", Emily tried calming her further.

"I promise that you're going to see him again, Heath, I promise that everything will be back to normal.", Penelope joined in. 

Everyone of them hoped that this was not going to be the first promise of Penelope Garcia that will be turn out to be broken.

You should never promise something you can't guarantee.