You and Me

Chapter 9: Dangerous thoughts

After I changed into my pajamas, I trotted down the stairs and plopped down on the couch. Ginger jumped up and curled up next to me. As I petted her, Mom came out of the kitchen.

"Cally! Why are you dressed like that? When Reed said casual, I doubt he meant footed pajamas and bunny slippers."

If I wasn't in such a bad mood I would've laughed.

"He cancelled. Apparently something came up, and he had to ditch."

My mom sat down next to me and caressed my hair. "I'm sorry sweetie. We can still watch that movie if you'd like."
I nodded and picked out "The Notebook." It was the perfect movie to worsen my mood even more.

I made some popcorn and opened the bag.
Great. The popcorn got burnt. It was as if the world was punishing me for having feelings for Reed.
I sighed heavily and threw the popcorn away. This day just couldn't get any worse.

As the movie started, I wondered about Reed's whereabouts. Where could he be? What was so important that he'd have to blow off a date with his best friend?

My stomach twisted into a knot. What if he was with another girl? There were lots of girls prettier than me; it'd be easy for him to hook up with a random chick.
I mean come on, practically all girls at school wanted to go out with him. Besides, it's not like I was his girlfriend or anything.

My hands abandoned me as I began to play with my hair nervously. The thought of him with another girl made me nauseous. You'd think that because he'd kissed me, we'd be exclusive. But apparently, kisses meant nothing nowadays.

I shook my head in annoyance. Shut up, Cally you're making things worse.

A few minutes later we got to the part when Allie's in her room and is lucid for a few minutes, but then freaks out and the doctors have to come in to medicate her.

By this time in the movie I was practically bawling my eyes out, more than I should be.
My mom leaned against me and gave me a quick hug.

"Cally, what's wrong?"

I DONT KNOW.
"Nothing mom," I said between sobs, "I'm just PMSing."

Mom nodded and rubbed me affectionately on the shoulder. "Do you want to go to sleep? We can stop the movie."

"Yeah mom... I'm sorry. I didn't mean to ruin our movie night."

"No, honey, don't feel bad! I guess I'm feeling a bit tired too. You should go get some rest."
I kissed my mom on the cheek before saying good night, and walked up to my bedroom.

As I crawled under the covers of my bed, drowsiness consumed me. My thoughts suddenly silenced as I felt my consciousness ebbing away.

I had a few minutes of blissful sleep when someone tapped on my window. I woke up and  narrowed my eyes in confusion.

"Cally—"

I recognized the voice almost instantly.

"Cally wake up. I need to talk to you."

Pulling the covers aside, I stood up and wedged the window open.

"Reed, what are you doing? Do your parents know you're here?"

Reed shook his head and entered my room. "We need to talk."

I sat down on my bed and gestured for him to sit beside me. "What is it? What's wrong?"

Reed avoided my gaze and breathed heavily. He opened his mouth and for a moment I thought he was going to speak, but no words came out of his mouth. Instead, he turned his head toward me and looked me in the eyes. His eyes were full of guilt. His gaze unsettled me and I shifted uncomfortably on the bed.

"What?" I asked, slowly losing my patience. It was 3 A.M. and I longed the warmth of my bed .

"It's just that..." Reed hesitated and looked at the window, unable to keep his gaze on me.

"Damn it, Reed, I am no mood for this, just say it already!" I exclaimed, exasperated.

"I can't....we can't be together."
I burrowed my eyebrows in puzzlement as I waited for him to elaborate. "I'm sorry?" I questioned, after a few moments of silence and confusion.

"Cally, our kiss was a mistake. I'm sorry if I gave you any hope. I wasn't thinking clearly, but now I know it was stupid of me to kiss you back."

At first, the words sounded foreign and I failed to understand what he had said. But as the words soaked in, my vision blurred and my heart plummeted. He thought our kiss was a mistake? What did that mean? That he had no actual feelings for me?

"Reed." I said my voice cracking, "Reed, you better give me one hell of an explanation."

Reed swallowed visibly before clearing his throat. "I'm in love with someone else, Cally. I wasn't sure at first, but..."

My eyes welled up with tears as Reed confessed his feelings for someone else.

"But," he continued, "now I am. I'm sorry, Cally. I'm so, so, sorry. Please don't be mad."

Anger welled up inside me as I clenched my fists. "Get out!"

A feeling of hurt flashed across his face before grabbing me by the shoulders and trying to calm me down.

I grabbed his arms and pushed them away. "I said out! I don't want to see you anymore!"

Reed got up slowly and left through the window; leaving me alone, crying on my bed.