Why me

Why me P21

Part 21-

My mom was in my bedroom telling me to wake up before my alarm clock even had chance to ring. She told me she had already ran me a bath and to come down stairs as soon as I was ready and dressed for breakfast. I followed her instructions and was downstairs for 6:45. I had half an hour before my mom would take me to school, and all I needed to do was eat my breakfast since I had already brushed my teeth and done my hair.

I didn’t know what the exact dress codes were of this school, I didn’t even know if it was private, posh or just a normal school like my old one back home, this was for the simple reason I didn’t care to ask. That morning I learnt it was hard to eat strawberries and raspberries with your hands shaking, I missed my mouth quite a lot and this resulting in getting strawberry juice all over my face, I had to go back upstairs to wash it off, but I was daydreaming, not really thinking about washing my face more thinking about the fact I had to make new friends at a completely new school.

I wasn’t scared of getting intimidated about meeting new people, and I was proud of myself for that due to the fact when I was about to meet Hannah and Rachel I was petrified, but I was scared in case people recognised me from Jessie’s instagram post or the newspaper. Once I had been dragged out of my thoughts by my mom shouting up the stairs to me telling me to come and drink my pineapple juice I ran back down the stairs and sat down.

My mom came and sat down next to me and ate her strawberries and yoghurt.

Kenzie-“Mom you don’t think people will recognise me as Jessie’s sister do you?”

Rose-“Of course they will, you’ve been in the paper as Jessie’s sister… why is it a problem if you are recognised?” I hadn’t spoken to my mom about my fears of people knowing who I was siblings with, but I thought it would have been obvious. You know, your parents are supposed to sense things.

Kenzie-“Well I want people to like me for me, not for being Jessie’s sister.”

Rose-“Oh I see, I wondered what Jessie was going on about Katie Williams for, but I kind of told your teacher your names Kenzie Cornish, is that a problem?” Was she being serious right now, of course it was a fucking problem, no way was I going to that school, not today, not ever, I just sat there staring at my mom, I could feel the berries coming back up as I felt sick.

Rose-“Kenzie, I’m just messing with you, Jessie filled me in, or do I call you Katie now? Now hurry up and drink your pineapple you’re going to be late.” I don’t think I have ever felt relief like that before in my life, because as my mom spat that sentence out I felt like it was Christmas even though we were only in April but I still couldn’t help but think to myself what would happen if a heartbeat attended that school and they recognised me.

As I walked through the school gates it soon became apparent that I wasn’t just scared of people recognising me I was actually scared of intimidation. I was scared in case I had no friends, and everyone hated me, like I hated myself.

I had no clue where to go, so I just followed the crowed of people, but that just made me get even more lost, I exited the building I was currently in and went to the smallest building opposite, I found the reception and told the kind lady I was lost.

Kenzie-“Excuse me, I’m new here, and I don’t know where to go.” I said giving the lady that wore a badge saying Mrs Lamford a sheepish smile.

Mrs Lamford-“Okay sweetie what’s your name?” She asked me as she pulled out a big book.

Kenzie-“Er it’s Kenz- I mean Katie Williams” I felt so nervous that I had forgot all about my new name.

Mrs Lamford laughed at me, which was what I was expecting, I mean to her it seemed I had just forgotten my own name, but it was a lot more than that.