Why me

Why me P27

Kenzie-“Jessie when I was running away from you, I didn’t feel any emotion, I felt like I was dead but I was still breathing… there was a park next to the staff holding so I decided I would quickly go on the swings to try and make me feel happy and remember all my memories as a youngster, but it just made things worse, it made me compare how happy I used to be to now, so I got off the swing and started to climb the ladder, that’s when I saw you.” Jessie’s head rose of my chest and she leant on her arm to hold herself up whilst her eyes pierced into mine.

Kenzie-“I can honestly say that’s the first time I haven’t been happy to see you Jess. It’s like I knew I needed to jump, but you were there and you was going to stop me, I knew you were going to try and stop me, and you did. Well so you thought you did.” I shuffled with my fingers whilst I went queit for a moment or two, trying to decide if I should tell Jessie the rest or she would think I was mad.

Jessie-“Kenzie, I don’t understand I don’t think I stopped you, you stopped yourself, you did this all by yourself, your breathing because of a reason, that reason is because you realised you were going to make the biggest mistake of your life.” I spat a laugh out at Jessie.

Kenzie-“Jessie I did make the worst decision on my life, I did jump. I was splatted against the floor and I was in pain, but do you know what hurt me more? On my last breath when I was lying there I told you I loved you, the pain I saw you in was just too much, I couldn’t bear to think I was the reason you was in agony.” Jessie looked at me confused.

Kenzie-“Jessie I don’t expect you to understand, I don’t expect anyone to understand.”

Jessie-“What are you trying to say Kenzie?”

Kenzie-“I’m trying to say, I jumped, I was dead Jessie. I wasn’t alive, I couldn’t move I couldn’t talk and I couldn’t breathe, but I could still think. The pain that filled me more was the thought of never seeing your face again, never seeing mom’s face again. That’s what hurt the most.”

Jessie-“But Kenzie, you’re still here?” I ignored her comment and decided to carry on.

Kenzie-“Before I knew it my eyes opened and I was standing back on top of the roof. I looked around and you were there, at the bottom pleading with me, but I wasn’t listening to you, I was looking around, I knew what had just happened, and I know it really happened. I felt like the world was giving me another chance to re-do the biggest mistake of my life, but that feeling soon flew away only hours later when I wanted to share my story with Holly, and tell her what had happened, I only wanted to tell her because I want to tell everyone, I know mom will eventually have to find out, and I don’t mind that, the more people that know my story the better, I want everyone to know that no matter how bad you feel, when you feel like you’re going to be tipped over the edge, you are making a permanent decision to a temporary problem, I don’t want anyone to put there families through what you have been through today Jess.”

Jessie-“Kenzie I don’t know what to say or even what to think.” Jessie said as she looked at me puzzled.

Kenzie-“I understand Jessie; I don’t expect you to believe me.” I rolled over so my back was facing Jessie. I didn't expect her to understand, I didn't even expect her to believe me, I just expected her to listen, which she did, perfectly. Just before I was drifting of I heard Jessie mutter something beside me.

Kenzie-“Huh?” I asked, still with my eyes closed.

Jessie-“I said I do believe you.” A smile plastered all over my face.

Kenzie-“Goodnight Cornish.” I said in a much happier tone.

Jessie-“Goodnight Kenz.” Jessie said as she kissed my upper arm.