Why me

Why me P35

I felt butterflies flying around my stomach, but this was weird.

Kenzie-“Jessie, what are you doing?” I whispered.

Jessie-“I don’t know, but I like it… you make me feel safe.” I smiled to myself. I ‘Kenzie Cornish’ had never been anything, I’d always been a nobody, but who else out of all the people I knew could say that they made ‘Jessie J’ feel safe. That’s right, none of them.

Kenzie-“Goodnight Jess.” I whispered.

Jessie-“Night Kenz.” I heard Jessie’s smile in her tone as she said this.

I tried to go to sleep, I really did, I mean it was probably two o’clock in the morning, but I just couldn’t, Jessie still had a tight grip on my body, and I liked it, but it felt so wrong. She’s my sister, isn’t she? I slowly edged my way from out of Jessie, but I guess she wasn’t asleep either; as the first flinch I made caused Jessie to shoot up and start questioning me.

Jessie-“Where are you going Kenz?”

Kenz-“Urm, I’m just going to get a glass of water.” I said stuttering on my own words. I wasn’t very good at lying.

Jessie-“Hurry back, I’m cold.” Jessie said, pulling the blankets up and over her.

Well I wasn’t going to hurry back, because I wasn’t really heading for the kitchen to get a glass of water, in fact, I didn’t know where I was heading. It was either the spare bedroom or run away, and right now, running away seemed like the better option.

Why do I do this? I asked myself. Why is it always me? Why me? I always get myself in situations that I can’t cope in. I sat on the bed in the spare bedroom for a moment, I tried to calm myself down, I tried to reason with myself. I told myself that what seemed the right thing to do right now, I would surely regret later, but it was like I was fighting a battle with myself that I had already lost.

Why am I doing this? I asked myself.

Everything’s perfect. Jessie loves me, I love Jessie, and my family love me, who cares if there not blood related.

I do. I answered myself. I wasn’t going to win. That’s when I realised. I must have a home somewhere else; there must be a police station I can go to some place close by. But could I do that to Jessie?