We're all ugly when we cry

Chapter 5: The blonde guy

Since our table was at the back of the classroom, and the teacher seemed pretty occupied I decided I could work on my social skills. After all this boy deserved and apology... He hasn't noticed me yet as his head was planted firmly on the tables surface, not that o was judging, I'd be doing the same if I felt comfortable enough. I coughed gently into my hand, luckily I gained his attention as he began to lift his head up.

It was a this point I realised that he may of had his head on the desk for a different reason all together. "You look like shit" the words just fell out of my mouth as I stared down in shock at the boy. I instantly clasped a hand over my mouth as he glared at me. A range of black and purple shades covered his left eye, his bottom lip bloody and swollen. As I continued staring he attempted to fix his glasses although one lens was completely shattered. He looked so frail and fragile. Like my brother... I attempted to keep the door to those memories in my mind locked and sealed yet, the more I stared the more the memory's threatened to surface.

"Are you done staring now?" His eyebrows knotted together the once warm blue of his eyes where now icy and cold trying to shut you out. I was staring again so looked away as quick as I could hoping he hadn't noticed my behaviour.

"Um, I'm sorry about this morning" I mumbled under my breath. It was a pathetic attempt but I felt I needed to say something. It also kept me from staring.

He grabbed the sleeve of the frayed hem of his jumper wiping the one good lens that had started to steam up. "Yeah well I'm used to it" his reply was bitter and cold, but what did I expect when I had treated him the way I had this morning.

His blunt replies infuriated me, I'd rather him just shout, he looked like he could do with a release anyway. I knew only too well what it was like when you bottled up your anger.

"No, really I'm sorry, I can be a bitch, well I am one. Sorry you don't deserve this, it's just I can't stand being around people or schools. This is my 5th school this year so I'm not exactly good at being social, I normally still to becoming one of the shadows"

I smiled meekly, hoping to comfort him instead of looking disinterested in everything he said.

"Well somebody's got a lot to say" he let out a sigh. I couldn't help but smile at his snarky reply, he was so like my little brother.

"Yeah I've not been able to talk to anybody for a while" I turned my head towards the side not wanting him to see how bashful I was about this situation.

"So why me?"

"Huh?" I looked back.

Blue orbs bore into my own "why are you explaining this all to me?"

"Oh" taken by surprise by his response I only managed to mutter a quick reply. "Well, you kind of remind me of my little brother, I guess that makes it easier to speak to you, and your the first person to actually talk to me today like an actual human being" I tried to brush it off as if it was nothing, hoping this would make him drop the subject.

"Your brother? Oh, is he nice? What year is he in I might know him?"

I dropped my head onto the desk in frustration this is the exact conversation I was hoping to avoid. I sighed to myself before lifting my head up to talk to this boy properly. Attempting to change the subject I spoke the first thing that came to mind "you know what I don't even know your name, what's your name?"

"Um it's Ben, you just changed the subject" he tilted his head confusion flooding his features...

"Sorry, it's just you won't of seen my brother round here, he doesn't go to this school, or any other school." I gave him a weak smile.

"So is he home schooled or something?" Ben started to shift in his seat pushing his glasses up as they began to slip off his nose again.

I tried to hold myself together, I can't believe I'm telling a complete stranger about my little brother just because he looks like him. However it's not like I could just stop talking, besides Ben seemed like the type of person who would keep prying for more information.

I took a deep breath and quickly blinked back the tears that had begun to form in my eyes...

"No, my brothers dead..."