We're all ugly when we cry

Chapter 14: Would death be easier?

After what felt like hours, Cal finally placed Katára back in his jacket. My vision was blurry and spots seemed to twirl in front of me, whilst my stomach did summersaults and a lump became present in the back of my throat.

I didn't dare look down, the pain was enough to tell me that it wouldn't be pretty. I used the little of my strength left to try and touch the new marks, as soon as my hand made contact with the flesh it shot back, pain rippling throughout my body hitting every nerve before slapping my brain.

The whimpers from Ben had stopped, he must of realised this wasn't going to get better any time soon. I rolled my head to the side, squinting through the spots, glimpsing a slight of Ben, whom was as white a sheet and staring at me. I wasn't sure if he was actually looking at me, or in my general direction, but whatever it was it had his full attention.

"She's going to die..." He whispered at nobody in particular. I tensed at his comment, I couldn't think of that possibility. Not now.

Cal just smirked at this, crouching in front of him breaking our ongoing eye contact. Tears tumbled down his cheeks but Ben seemed not to notice just continued looking towards Cal.

"Well I can't have her walking away can I?" Ben started to shake, maybe he was cold but really, I knew that if he survived this, he probably wouldn't ever be the same again. His head twitched to the side as he watched Cal come up to me again.

My screams echoed round the empty forest again whilst fresh tears coated my face, washing the dry blood from my lips. Just the thought of that cold metal against my skin... I couldn't handle it. It had already marked me enough.

"Please... Please, PLEASE!" I watched in horror as he drew the blade out again ready for the next strike.

"Stop." Again it was Ben's voice that saved me, his tone was harsh, yet it wavered slightly showing how nervous he truly was. Cal's eyes shone dangerously.

"What..." I flinched hearing his voice so close to the fresh wounds. I could almost feel the blood pumping through me.

"If your not going to stop... then please let it be me you do this too, I can't watch her suffer like this." My heart sank as his voice quivered at the request. I Wanted to tell him to stop but I had lost the last of my energy screaming.

"I wasn't thinking of going near you... but if you insist, I guess it helps tie up any loose ends." Cal started to approach him...

Didn't Ben know that this would be worst than the torture Cal was giving me. I couldn't just watch Ben go through this, potentially watch him die! He was a coward for stating such a thing. How can he do this to me when he knows about Jack. Just because he couldn't watch this doesn't mean I can. I know it's hard for him too since I'm the first true friend he's had, but I can't watch him die. It's worse than my own torture. I can deal with the physical damage Cal gives me but if he kills Ben in front of me I doubt I can handle the emotional pain that comes with it.

It would be like loosing Jack all over again...

"Coward..." The words barely escape through my lips before I fall back onto the ground after trying to stand. When my wounds hit the dirt below me, I go numb. The ground was cold, even though the sun had warmed it slightly during the day. Each tiny speck of dust compacted itself in layers on the ground and as my body brushed against it, I could feel the way loose particles wound their way into my wounds plaguing me with the diseases it would carry.

If I could just die now. It would be perfect. I wouldn't have to listen to Bens cry's and the pain would go away. Even though my brain felt ready. My body was refusing to give up. I longed for the black abyss to swallow me, consume the fucked up reality I was forced to suffer.