We're all ugly when we cry

Chapter 6: Tell me...

Ben just sat there in silence staring right through me. I should of known this was a bad idea, I never should of told him I just got so carried away I thought it would be a good idea. It's not like this is going to bring him back. I told myself I wouldn't let anybody near me again, that would stop me getting hurt all over again... I can't let anybody in... my train of thoughts were brought to an abrupt haunt as I was cut short when Ben finally spoke up.

"How old was he?" His blue orbs flickered up to gaze into my dark brown ones.

"Eleven, he died about a year ago" I was surprised with how meek my voice sounded, it sickened me that I couldn't even help it.

"So that's why you keep changing schools and being so distant from everybody. Your trying not to get hurt yourself." His eyes showed sympathy. He wasn't judging me. The first person I finally open up to just sits there and listens. We had been so involved in our conversation we didn't even notice how long we had been talking, the only thing that managed to snap us out of this trance was the familiar shrill of the school bell.

I smiled over towards Ben before quickly leaving the classroom almost sprinting to get home, that is till a familiar voice shouted out behind me,

"HEY, WAIT UP" I stopped in my tracks as a blonde head bobbed in and out of the crowds desperate to reach me. His tiny frame easily lost within the crowd of people "I still want to find out more... If it's ok with you that is?"

I don't know, was it? I mean yes I liked having somebody to talk to, but should I really be telling him about something like this?

I almost felt like it need too.

"Sure"

I didn't miss the way his eyes lit up as he smiled, just like my brother. In every way.

"Hey but first, you know my name but I don't know yours" my face fell suddenly, realising he hadn't listened to me being introduced in class. I smirked at the thought of him spacing out, unaware of the entire class

"I'm Yasmin. Yasmin Pixie Hunter."

Ben suddenly burst out laughing.

"Hey, what's so funny?" My tone coming across as quite defensive.

"Nothing, nothing... Just your name Pixie Hunter hahaha!! Can you catch one for me?!"

I failed to see what he found so funny, true my name was like that for a joke, my parents had a terrible sense of humour, but come on.

"Ben, stand up properly, it's not that funny" I rolled my eyes at his childish behaviour as he continued to lean against my side for support. I shoved him off, letting him walk behind whilst he tried to stop laughing I guess I didn't mind, it wasn't like I was going straight home, I wanted to head into the woods first. There was a particular clearing that always seamed to stand out in my memory.

The giggles behind me had finally subsided, so I risked a look behind me to be met with a shy Ben walking two or three steps behind me, I huffed silently to myself before telling him he could actually walk next to me.

"So where are we going" I guess he was true to his word. He really did want to find out more about my brother.

"There's this clearing I know of, I like sitting there it helps me think. I can tell you more about my brother when we get there.

"Wait, but your new in the area?"

I smirked, "no I've lived in this area for ages, we moved house closer to this school a few months ago, but overall we've stayed close... too many memories to leave I guess."

.........silence

"Sooo, what was he called, your brother"

I grinned quietly to myself thinking about how bad this kid was at keeping conversations going.

"Jack, but I always called him JJ we were really close." I frowned as I tried to drown certain memories out of my head. I didn't need to be thinking like that right now.

"Oh, sorry about that"

"It's ok"

We stayed in a comfortable silence for the rest of the walk, when we finally got there, I made my way to the middle and allowed myself to slump onto the fallen tree that had been carved into a seat at the centre. I let my eyes wander round taking everything in. From the oak trees at every angle in a perfect sphere, to the cloudless sky above. Contradictory to this morning where I had been drenched to the bone. I had completely forgotten I had come here alone till I noticed another body sitting to my left.

eyelids fluttered shut as I stretched out till I was in a comfortable position, the Sun rays kissing at my pale complexion. I could feel myself slowly drifting off quite happily till I was rudely awoken again by the sound of Bens voice.

"What happened?"

I didn't know two words could of hurt so much, I knew exactly what he meant. The words I had been dreading ever since I told him about Jack. I never had actually talked about how he died, only once when my parents told me for the first time. Since then any other thoughts had been locked up inside of my head hiding from view. Even I hadn't dared think back on it all...